Dark Times in Curiosity…
I’m going to be upfront, this blog post isn’t going to be for everyone. It may even change the way you feel about me in our weekly webinars. For those of you that haven’t figured it out already, I’m a bit of a freak, I love the dark side of human existence and find comfort in my own little twisted reality where serial killers are just misunderstood people and demon children go to day-care.
And if you believe everything in that first paragraph, congratulations, you don’t know me at all. I don’t believe demon children go to day care.
I’d like to start this post with discussing my results from the ‘What’s Your Curiosity Profile?’ quiz from Harvard Business Review.
My first result was that I was an unconventional thinker. My first thought to this result was…

But when reading though the breakdowns that came with this result it did make me think, that once again I was just below the average.
‘People with high scores in this area typically question authority and have an independent thinking style. They regard themselves as “free spirits” and avoid following mainstream trends. They are often early adopters and trendsetters. Those with low scores are careful to follow etiquette and protocol, and they’re happiest when they don’t stand out. They often have traditional values and find new trends to be distasteful and superficial.’

I did find it strange that it said that unconventional thinkers were trendsetters, yet we find new trends to be distasteful, but then I thought that really did describe me and my creative process. I guess that’s why I was considered in just below the average, I may not come up with new trends that a lot of people are interested in, but I am usually the first to voice my hatred of them (I’m looking at you snuggies, crocs and beards!) I do like to think that I do approach my creative work and look at new ways to express myself through my works. In one short film I worked on, I had to convince a friend that it would be a great metaphor for his career for him to have a bloodied picture of his face stapled to his chest. Saying that his past isn’t going to hurt his future. This was something that we received mixed feedback about, but we went with it anyway.

When looking at the suggested creative exercises for this I found that I did at least one quite often. I enjoy making and using mind maps, they help me with everyday situations, like the example that was in the article for planning a dinner party. Try it, you’ll like it.

The next area said that I was intellectually hungry, this did surprise me a little because of how higher I was than the average. I knew that I enjoyed learning and research, I wish I could be a student forever! And I prefer culturally stimulating activities opposed to physical activities. I am not a sports minded person at all, until it comes to ice hockey, then my inner Canadian comes out and it’s not pretty.
‘Test takers who score high on this dimension are philosophically inclined. They gravitate toward cultural hobbies and enjoy exploring a wide range of educational subjects. They regard themselves as avid thinkers. Those with low scores are more practical. They typically rely on their experience and common sense to solve problems, because they prefer to spend time doing rather than ruminating. They’re interested in learning only when it has a clear purpose.’

This is the part of my brain that exploded when I was learning about semiotics, structuralism and post-structuralism while studying animation. I felt at home in a post-structuralist world, not everything is black and white, there is a grey area (50 shades of it to be exact,) and it needs to be acknowledged. I think during this subject is also when I alienated myself from the rest of the class by dissecting the opening credits to ‘American Horror Story’ and making them realise that even the opening credits of a series will create an emotional response for an audience before you’ve even seen a character on screen. It sets you up for the emotional roller coaster yet to come.
The final result was that I rated quite highly in the seeking new experiences and relationships section. I don’t know if I agree with this totally, but I guess I’m in no place to argue with Harvard. I feel like the description of people that scored low in this value applies to me more, I enjoy being with my new close friends and I find that when I do try to expand my circle it never goes well. But I do find myself getting bored when things become predictable or familiar.
I’m torn.
‘High scorers enjoy trying new things and interacting with a variety of personalities. They are generally disappointed when life feels predictable or familiar. They tend to be thrill-seekers and love an adrenaline rush. Low scorers are usually happiest when spending time with close friends; they don’t care much about meeting new people. They like to plan ahead and prefer known situations over unfamiliar ones. When something works, they don’t see the point of changing it.’

For the moment, this has left me stumped. I feel like this is going to lead to a blog post later when I have a chance to process this more.
Now that we’ve gotten to know me a little better, I feel like I can answer the question, what sparks my curiosity? A little better.
I feel like I have been, and always will be a student of the macabre. I have a fascination with the darkness and believe we can find a lot of light in the darkness. Professor Eric Wilson of Wake Forest University calls this fascination ‘the morbidity of sorrow,’ and it’s a phrase that I find always turns up in my work one way or another; from photoshoots involving graphic themes such as snuff, to short films about a young man that’s lost his mother and unknowingly eats her for Sunday supper. Wilson states that “is often a productive sluggishness, a time when the soul slows down, too weary to go on, and takes stock of where it’s been and where it’s going. During these gloomy pauses, we often discover parts of ourselves we never knew we possessed, talents that, properly activated, enrich our lives.” I find it is at these times I feel my most creative, these times where I’m reading about the dark web (please note, only reading not actually surfing the dark web,) or reading passages by the Marquis du Sade. I have recently discovered a book that I haven’t been able to finish as of yet called ‘Cyclonopedia: Complicity with Anonymous Materials’ a book that is part science fiction and part horror, written about the Middle East. It has been one of those books that has been inspirational, even though I can’t actually say how it’s inspired me, or my creative process.
So why does this morbid fascination with darkness inspire my curiosity? As I previously said, I believe that it is in the darkness we find light, and in this light is where we find our creativity. I am being very general here, obviously this isn’t going to be the case for everyone. I know quite a few people that love living in the land of rainbows, kitten and unicorns. But for me this is where I find my best ideas come to life. I am currently working on a script about a man who knowingly goes out to infect people with HIV, this is something that actually happens. I am sure a lot of you just made this face…

But telling this story is going to be another way to promote awareness in our community, even if it has to be told in a way that is going to upset a lot of people in the process.

I feel that using the dark side of the human psyche really is an effective tool to get people to sit up and pay attention. Making people feel uncomfortable is one of the best ways to get people to sit up and pay attention, a great example of this is the film ‘The Exorcism of Emily Rose,’ it was this film that finally got the Catholic church to change the exorcism rite, after countless bishops and theologians campaigning for it to be changed since the mid-80s, with particular focus on the line ‘I command the, unclean spirit’ as it was this line that confirms the patient’s beliefs that they are actually possessed.
Ending this post on the subjects of HIV and possession wouldn’t be the best move, but like I said in your uncomforted state I’m sure something creative has popped into your head, so you are welcome.
References
References
@megan_gambino, F. (2008). Interview: Eric G. Wilson. [online] Smithsonian. Available at: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/interview-eric-g-wilson-51877918/ [Accessed 20 Jul. 2017].
ChasingtheFrog.com. (2017). Emily Rose True Story of Anneliese Michel Exorcism — Real Story. [online] Available at: http://www.chasingthefrog.com/reelfaces/emilyrose.php [Accessed 21 Jul. 2017].
Horror Day Care. (2017). [video] Directed by M. Pollock. USA: CollegeHumor.
Psychology Today. (2012). The dark, bizarre, absurd, and deviant side of curiosity. [online] Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/curious/200905/the-dark-bizarre-absurd-and-deviant-side-curiosity [Accessed 21 Jul. 2017].
Wake Forest University. (2012, March 1). Beauty has a dark side: Morbid curiosity explained. ScienceDaily. Retrieved July 20, 2017 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/03/120301083415.htm
