THE PURGE Television Series Is Completely Pointless and Watered Down

Mike Holtz
Sep 7, 2018 · 3 min read

You could have put it on Netflix, Amazon or HBO. But USA?

Sure, they’ve been known to show a surprise butt crack from time to time; But this is horror. The Purge franchise needs to become more risky, not less.

This pilot could have aired at Dawahares.

The story is exactly the same. There are no new angles and it still isn’t scary.

The only difference between film and TV is the watered down violence. We see night vision goggle murders and the shadows of ax murders in progress.

While the forced inventiveness is intriguing, this is an exercise in futility. What’s the point of moving to TV when you aren’t going to try anything new?

This could’ve worked if only the characters were interesting enough to require 10 episode arcs.

These character bios could fit on Popsicle sticks.

A marine (Gabriel Chavarria) with the personality of a doorknob (though he can probably blame the writing) searches for his sister. He goes on a rampage, beating up crackheads and extracting information. Vanilla fight sequences that play like a bad cable TV drama spin-off. Think CSI: Nebraska.

A business lady (Amanda Warren) has to work on purge night closing a big deal. Her boss, (William Baldwin) uses flat screen TV’s to pop up and spy on her at all times. Because he’s apparently the bad guy from Wes Craven’s SHOCKER!

It’s interesting here to learn that you can have employees sign contracts banning them from purging whilst at work. A glimpse at the kind of franchise detail carving that TV could have offered us if only some thought was put into this plastic effort.

There’s a young couple headed to a Founding Fathers dinner party on purge night to try and secure a loan. Far more interesting is the fact that they’ve previously had a threesome with one of the ladies at the party and have clearly not talked it out since. Break out the USA Network super soft core porn memories. Soft music, blurry camera, hair and skin. Skin and hair. Is that a belly button? I can’t tell.

The best part of the pilot episode is the bus of nuckin’ futs cult kids in their blue hooded robes. They travel around via bus led by the underrated Fiona Dourif, offering themselves as purge sacrifices. These crazies get off the bus one by one willingly, to be slaughtered. All this to purify their souls so that they can go to Heaven, or the space ship, or wherever the creepy bald guy with the fresh white Nikes is right now. They never stop smiling and it’s either the dumbest looking thing I’ve ever seen or the weirdest. I can’t tell.

All I know is that I want to punch them in the face.

Unless you‘re hankering so badly for another Purge sequel (I like the Franchise, myself) you’re willing to watch the watered down version of the same thing we've already gotten four feature films out of…….The Purge TV Series isn’t worth your time.

Thanks for reading! Question, comment, need a writer? Hit me up at WeWatchedAMovie2@gmail.com

Mike Holtz

Written by

Trying to show my two little girls they can do what they love in this world. Writer of all things movies. Co-owner of We Watched A Movie on Youtube.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade