You ought to be thanking feminism for helping us get out of that mindset.
This inability to set and stick by boundaries is addressed in the first chapter of the book The…
Hannah
31

Thank you for responding.

Feminism may have co-opted the psychology to address a feminine perspective but the psychology involved with ‘people pleasing’ or codependent behavior is not exclusive to women.

I suppose the question that I have can be distilled to this: Once a detrimental behavior has been recognized, defined and understood don’t we lose the right to blame others for our continued engagement with that behavior?

That is not to say that other people’s bad acts should be excused but if I know or suspect that someone who is engaging with me is not acting in good faith and I indulge it against my better judgment, then isn’t the responsibility for whatever outcome, mine?

That there are people in this world that claim to be dying of thirst and seek to suck us dry when they are obviously water-fat is, unfortunately, the way of things. They will continue to do so and demand that we justify our refusal to participate until we stop indulging them.

As for the ‘rewarded greatly for ignoring our own well-being’ that applies to all humanity. Governments do it, parents can be guilty of it, and certainly women. Predatory behavior is not confined to men.

One of the biggest sticking points that I have with current day feminism is the conceit that societal problems like ‘people pleasing’ and codependency, that is an issue for a great many people regardless of gender has, when viewed through the feminist lens, been conflated to mean ‘an issue only for women’.

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