10 Questions to start the Conversation with a Cheating Significant Other

How to start a productive conversation after a partner has cheated.

Written by Wekaw — Your Relationship Advisor

Infidelity hurts. The pain and betrayal can be crippling. Sometimes it’s just too much to even get your mouth to move. We know having this conversation is hard, so just start out with these 10 questions (at your own pace) for a productive conversation with your partner.

1. What does the affair mean to you?

2. What were you getting out of the affair that you felt you couldn’t get from our relationship?

3. Do you understand how I feel?

4. Where do you see our relationship going from here?

It’s important to get an understanding of the directive of your relationship. You don’t have to come to a definitive answer, because whatever you both decide is going to have ups and downs, but at least be on a common ground before you move in either direction.

5. Do you think our relationship is something we can repair? Are you willing to?

6. How long did it last?

7. Was it physical/sexual?

You don’t have to go into all the details here, but you do have to know if STD testing and chances of pregnancy are anywhere in the future.

8. How would you feel if I had an affair?

9. Do you think anything good has came out of this?

We know that this may be a difficult question not only to ask, but to think about as well. But if you can clear your emotions and ask what this has taught you about yourself, your partner, and your relationship, you will get more out of your conversation.

10. Were you ever worried about losing me?

For relationship advice or coaching services, contact Wekaw — Your Relationship Advisor or call (844) 461-LOVE.