5 Ways to Keep the Romance Alive
How to make sure the love drug never runs dry in your relationship
Written by Wekaw — Your Relationship Advisor
Being in a new relationship can sometimes feel like a movie. All of those new “love drugs” (oxytocin, serotonin, and adrenaline) being released into your brain will have you feeling like there’s an Ed Sheeran song playing in the background of every interaction with your new partner. Cloud 9 is nothing in comparison. But after about 6 months, those “love drugs” stop running on overdrive and you start to slowly return to earth. It is at this point and throughout the rest of your relationship that you have to choose to love your partner for who they are without all that help you get in the first couple months.
Here are five ways to keep the fire churning, the romance alive, and the “love drugs” pumping:
1. Do Something New Together!
Once you start getting comfortable with someone, or maybe even living with them, it can be easy to settle for a comfy movie night as opposed to going out somewhere. It’s comfortable, you have your pajamas on, and you’re just happy cuddling up with your boo at the end of the day. Those nights are always perfect and should definitely be an option, but every now and then, do something new, something you all haven’t done before!
Try a new restaurant you’ve heard that was really good! Go to an art exhibition or a show that you’ve been wanting to see! Or stay in and cook a dish that may be a little out of your comfort zone! This will put both you and your partner in a new environment and mindset. You may even see something about your partner that you have not seen yet. Bonding over something that neither of you have done or experienced before is a great way to remind yourself of endless possibilities in your relationship!
2. It’s All About the Little Things!
A relationship is about the collection of little moments, as opposed to a couple big moments here and there. It’s like drinking water. When you hike up a mountain, do you want to drink water every thirty minutes or wait 5 hours to get water at a ledge or stopping point? I think most people would prefer the first option! All the little things you do for each other throughout your relationship are important to keep your relationship fun and healthy. If you wait for the next predetermined stopping point on the mountain (like an anniversary or birthday) to express your love, your relationship will likely dry up and couldn’t survive severe weathers along the hike.
So focus on the little things! Leave a note for your significant other in a place that will make them smile! Send them a cute text in the middle of the day to let them know they are on your mind! Pick up one of their favorite treats on your way home! Invite their family to a meal that would usually be the two of you! A hike is always more fun when it’s filled with smiles and laughter all the way up.
3. Educate Yourself!
Do you know what the Love Language is? Often times, the way we express our love to our partner may not align with how they like to receive expressions of love. Gary Chapman has narrowed down to 5 ways of expressing love: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, and Quality Time. Say your partner really appreciates Quality Time and Words of Affirmation as acts of love but you’ve been expressing your affection through Acts of Service and Sending Gifts. A disconnect may begin to develop between what you are sending vs how it is getting received. There is nothing wrong with having different Love Languages, after all, you are both unique individuals. Where the problem may occur is the failure to understand your partner’s love languages. Educating yourself on how your partner wants to be loved will definitely help you communicate and relate to each other more cohesively, effectively, and lovingly!
4. Look them in the Eyes!
Eye contact is a simple, yet sometimes forgotten way to express intense emotion such as love and affection. Eye contact is a special form of communication that we have been born to recognize. Studies have shown that making eye contact with someone takes more brain power, making it hard to focus on other tasks. By making eye contact with your partner, you are not only communicating that you want to focus on them, but you are doing it in such a way that confirms your devotion and focus on them. Studies also show that when making eye contact, we consider displays of emotion to be more intense than if you are looking at their face. Look at them in the eyes when you try to express your love and they may have a better understanding of your deep feelings for them!
5. Express Appreciation!
Words may never hurt us...but they can sure help! Just say a couple appreciative words to let your significant other know that you recognize the effort they make.
If you do these five things, your relationship will be just as amazing as those first few “love drug” crazed months. Ed Sheeran may play on!
For relationship advice or coaching services, contact Wekaw — Your Relationship Advisor or call (844) 461-LOVE.