The Truth about First Date Chemistry

First Impressions are highly overrated and here’s 4 reasons why.

Written by Love McPherson, Relationship Expert — Wekaw Featured Advisor


First impressions are highly overrated. It’s impossible to number the many loving relationships that started off extremely uneventful to say the least. So why do we place so much emphasis on whether there was chemistry or not? It’s partly because the chick flicks and fairytales have convinced some couples that you should see a finale of fireworks when he stands on the back of his legs. The truth is that there are many reason you may not experience chemistry or connection on the first date.

Here are 4 reasons why

  1. Your first date may be experiencing fear of rejection.

Rejection is one of our biggest fears whether we want to admit it or not.

via GIPHY

We dress, behave, speak and respond to avoid rejection. Desperately wanting to impress can actually come off arrogant, self-centered or prideful. It can be a turn off rather than a turn on. On the other hand, if a person has no confidence in their ability to avoid rejection, often they will reject others through being super critical or dismissing before that person has the ability to reject them. Don’t become defensive, take note and respond with your values as your guide.

2. Your first date may also be overwhelmed by your awesomeness.

via GIPHY

You don’t have to be insecure to see someone else as awesome. It’s like wanting that dream job that you know you will ace if they only give you a chance to prove yourself. If you don’t see yourself as awesome, here is when self-sabotage can take place. You can subconsciously sabotage the date because you don’t want to experience the moment when you will inevitably disappoint a person who sees you better than you see yourself.

3. Lack of chemistry can also be the result of someone protecting their heart. If your first date has experienced a recent heartbreak, they may be shielding their heart from another injury.

via GIPHY

4. Your first date may be a kind, loyal, respectful introvert. Your dream mate may be sitting on the other side of the table enjoying listening to you, more than leading the conversation. Silence doesn’t always equal ignorance or incompetence.

via GIPHY

Trusting relationships require patience and open-mindedness in order to develop. Listen intently to learn the heart of a person before coming to a final judgment. Whatever their heart is full of, will eventually come out of their mouth. Also, leave unreasonable expectations at the door and be open for a new experience. Dates can be like food, just because you have never tried a specific dish, doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy it. Finally, place chemistry in the proper perspective. If chemistry is everything to you, you may find yourself attracting chemistry without much character to sustain it.


No fireworks on the first date? Not sure if you should give the person a second chance? Listen to Relationship Expert, Love McPherson discuss all about that first date chemistry and tips for your first date!

Wekaw — Your Relationship Advisor

Written by

Ask Wekaw anything about relationship! We offer personalized advice focusing on relationship and life coaching. #AskWekaw4Advice #AskLove #CouplesRetreatChicago

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade