The holidays can be a difficult time to accommodate food allergies but it’s even more difficult for the people who have the allergies. Some families are great about making anaphylaxis sufferers feel at home — others not so much. Here’s a rogue’s gallery for those of us who hope we won’t need to leave the meal in an ambulance.
- The Pseudoscientist
Insists your allergies were caused by GMOs. Believes acupuncture can cure you.
- The Conversationalist
Makes your allergies everyone’s dinner table discussion as if anaphylaxis were a curious hobby you had taken up.
- The One-Upper
Insists that their self-diagnosed non-celiac gluten intolerance is more severe than anaphylaxis.
- The Faddist
Talks up their transition from veganism to paleo as if you would love it too, disregarding your reply that your health already makes it difficult to get complete nutrition.
- The Picky Eater
Answers your list of medical restrictions with their own list of foods they could eat if they want but they refuse to consume because they don’t like the flavor.
- The Know-it-All
Believes a tapeworm infection would cure your allergies because they misremember a segment on public radio.
- The Healthcare Expert
The pharmacist’s assistant who thinks they know more than your board certified allergist.
- The Armchair Psychologist
Is certain your allergies are a ploy to get attention.
- The Liar
A weight loss guru told them it’s OK to fake an allergy in order to reduce their butter intake.
- The Smidgeon
Thinks an allergen won’t cause trouble if there’s too little to taste.
- The Self-Appointed Life Coach
Keeps reminding you of all the foods you can’t eat as if your immune disorder had caused a cognitive impairment.
- The Control Freak
Never passed a first aid class in their life but tries to dictate all your safety protocols because it’s fun to be in charge.
- The Bully
Tells jokes at your expense because you brought your own safe foods in a cooler.
- The Traitor
Sneaks allergens into your food to see what will happen.