Pseudomasochism

“Wow,” I thought upon espying the varispeed settings on the shower-head, “that looks fun.”

Fantasy and Reality are, however, oft cut from different cloth.

This being the case, let me continue my anecdote with another metaphorical fantasy by way of elucidation.

The shower-head … being a massage parlour … offers the following services …

1. Swedish masseuse

2. Swedish masseuse with birch sticks

3. Swedish masseuse with birch sticks and PMS

4. Valkyrie on the warpath

5. Swedish masseuse with birch sticks and PMS, angry at her boyfriend

You will, of course, understand why ‘4’ is nowhere near as terrifying a prospect as ‘5’