Jul 20, 2017 · 2 min read
I can’t think of a title for this

… but I might just wait until there are a few more women and children in the supermarket and then shout “Woo hoo … BUTT SEX!!!” at the top of my voice, before surreptitiously exiting stage left, as it were — it should cause a modicum of consternation amongst the prurient ;-)
Speaking of games you can play in the supermarket …
- Walk down the middle aisle … the one that cuts all the aisles in half at 90-degrees … and as you pass the opening to one of them say VERY loudly to your accomplice “… and aisle after AISLE of ugly, UGLY people!” — everyone in that aisle automatically assumes you mean them.
- Wait with your victim/accomplice at an oft-frequented counter until a large number of people are close by (I’ve noticed that, for some reason, the cheese-counter is particularly good for this) and SHOUT at your victim/accomplice “…and your MOTHER was a SLAG!” — If you get this one right all the strangers around you will stare at your victim/accomplice rather than at you.
- Move over to the cold meats section and start mumbling, in a low and repentive tone of voice, “Sorry, Mother, but you know how things are … I was short on money and I had to support Dad all on my own by working eighteen hours a day …” and start clutching at the salami in a very sensuous, sensitive manner — If you do it right, you’ll quickly be ejected from the store (and quite possibly barred for life :).
