Did I catch you at a bad time?
Aura Wilming

Did I catch you at a bad time?

No … that was a friendly ‘piss off.’

If I didn’t know any better I might think you were getting a little riled up.

As well you knew ;P

It’s an important issue, actually. Over-prescription of antibiotics has created some very nasty drug-resistant bacteria and we’re on the brink of losing that battle. Some don’t even respond to the heaviest antibiotics we have.

It is actually, yes — really very scary.

As I alluded to here …

Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s not your fault you were born male.

I’m not sure whether to be impressed at the simplicity of that one … the brutalist recourse to stock cliché, like a slice of lemon wrapped around a brick …

… or call you out for being lazy.


Aww, poor baby. It’s okay. I know it’s scary to give up control like that,


That’s easy for you to say — you’re a woman.

Now put yourself in my shoes … I daren’t let go … not until you’ve had a chance first — that’s just the psychoemotional necessity that is borne of our differing physiologies.

but you’ll find the woman some day who will make you moan, groan and sigh for real. You aren’t doomed to always fake your pleasure. Keep the faith that it will happen.
  1. Who said I hadn’t already? Or at least hadn’t believed I had at the time anyway?
  2. Who said my pleasure was fake?

I’m just (self) aware enough to know that what is going on with my own psychology and physiology may not be apparent to you.

In fact, I can be in the throes of complete and utter ecstasy … and stony-faced throughout.

But, as we discussed, it would be selfish of me not to allow my partner the same pleasure in giving … in being ‘used’ in your terms … as I wish her to gift me.

So, I make the effort to show you … which, as I have maintained all along, is the only reason for sex as far as I am concerned — and if actions speak louder than words then there had better be some action on my part, hadn’t there?

As for finding that woman …

As I said … right now I couldn’t say, hand on heart, that the idea of falling for someone again doesn’t fill me with more disquiet than the idea that I might spend the rest of my life single.

Quite apart from all the concerns about my own heart being broken again, for whatever reason …

I’ve made it a rule not to ruin perfectly good friendships by getting romantically/sexually involved with my friends.

The men aren’t a problem — it’s just never going to happen.

The women, however …

The only women who have been consistently in my life are the ones with whom I have never had more than simple friendship.

So …

What if I allow myself to fall in love with a friend … we start a relationship … things don’t work out for one reason or another … and her heart gets broken — for whatever reason?

I’d’ve been instrumental in the breaking of my friend’s … my friend’s … heart.

I really couldn’t live with that.

And falling in love with someone who isn’t a friend?


I’m not making that mistake again!

No, I’m unconvinced that it’s that simple, I’m afraid — the One isn’t out there.

<sigh> I saw (and started writing) this before the edits. With a bit of convincing I might have actually thought I was getting you agitated. Now you’re just laying it on a bit thick. If this is the “utterly convincing” part, you really need to start pursuing less gullible women.

You might want to rewrite that last bit — you appear to be implying that you yourself are gullible ;P

No, it’s okay, I got your point really.

Yes, I was laying it on thick … that was the point, duh — the whole ‘girl next door’ RomCom cliché is … well … a cliché … and no cliché is subtle, is it?

However, you might want to stop and think for a moment.

If you were getting me ‘agitated’, do you think I’d tell you?

Or do you think I’d employ diversionary tactics … pretend … like a cynic … not to have a heart that can be captured — or at least that you hadn’t captured it?

So … have you got me agitated or not?

Can you read between the lines?

And, if you can … whose secret diary are you reading — mine … or your own wishful thinking?

And, in saying this, am I opening up to you here … baring my soul … laying my heart on the line?

Or is this the carefully laid trap you fail to notice whilst busily praising yourself in the mirror of your own self-satisfaction for avoiding the obvious decoy?

Don’t be too sure you have the measure of things, sweetheart. I can be disarmingly frank, yes … but that doesn’t mean I’m not subtle about it — which is, after all, kinda the thing about being disarming ;)

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