Pay Close Attention, Class

I realise that many of you … living, as you do, in Zone 3 ¹ … never received an education and will, at first, be nonplussed, but a great many things I will say in future posts will only make sense if you have studied the following — so, you’ll be doing us both ² a favour by getting your head around the concept of London’s Zones.

So, revise what you learned in your first Geography lesson and then study the links below.

¹ Yes, this means you.

² Well … principally you, but it will save me from having to repeat myself more than absolutely necessary — so it won’t do me any harm either, if you do. ³

³ Actually, that’s a complete lie; principally it will be of benefit to me — it will prevent me having to repeat myself and explain the same things to you ad nauseum, losing the will to live and eventually commiting suicide just to make the pain of your existence go away.

⁴ An “if you loved me, you’d swallow that” kinda thing — but less sexual, sexist and mysogynistic and, so, a good thing.