Road Rage Rhetoric

I’ve spent a lifetime asking rhetorical questions — because if you ask people anything more complex, all you get in reply is yet more incoherent nonsense.

My mother has always maintained that, when we ask a question of someone, we already (at least half) know the answer — it is contained within the question itself.

An example?

Okay …

As I was driving up the outside (right-turn only) lane, to position the car ready to … believe it or not … turn right, a pedestrian crossed three lanes, from the left-hand side of the road … against traffic … and emerged in front of the vehicle to my left — which was slightly ahead of me and thus obscuring my field of vision … preventing me from seeing pedestrians crossing even one lane, let alone three, on a section of the road entirely unsuitable for crossing as a pedestrian.

As I … in complete contravention of all natural, darwinian law … braked … hard … so as to avoid crushing the idiot beneath the wheels of half a ton of highly mobile metal … propelled by a barely controlled sequence of explosions … at speeds exceeding the capacity of the human brain to process … he remonstrated with me.

At which point I felt compelled to enquire of him “Is this a pedestrian crossing … or are you just a tosser?”


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