Tonight Has Been Cancelled

… For Legal Reasons.

And that’s as much as I can say about that — I’m gutted though … was really looking forward to it : (

So, at a loose end, I’ve decided to indulge in a bit of retro-gaming … sort of … by looking up Catherine and taking her for another ride, as it were.

I’m being chased backwards up a pyramid of impossibly placed blocks, by a crouching giant, with eyes on its backside, that’s trying to catch me with a huge, lolling tongue sticking out of its arse, whilst moaning “I can’t hold back,” in a sultry, female voice, and shooting fireworks … I think it’s what’s known as “having a visible orgasm” … that change my direction of travel when they explode and cause me to run into the spike trap I was avoiding.

Did I mention it also keeps moaning “Please! Give me more!” and “Let’s have some fun” ?

And that’s not the half of it — I also have to answer morally ambiguous questions along the way!

It’s one of the most original games ever made, let alone one of the most original I’ve ever played — the talking sheep on the landings are interesting characters and the confessional booth is rocket powered.

Catherine is one of the … most … fucked up … games I have ever played — I can’t recommend it enough ; D

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