Bernadette’s Rainbow Adventures, Part 5
Wolf milk and walking naked in the snow
I understand the importance of total nudity when it comes to the annual Rainbow Quests each student at Rainbow College goes through. We are releasing all the barriers that we have erected around our true selves. Ya-da, ya-da, ya-da. As a practicing quasi-nudist, I don’t have any problems with nudity and I know and appreciate what good it has done for me, but when you are told that you would be doing your 4th year Quest in the far north of Sweden in the middle of winter, as I was told, then nudity takes on a whole new urgency.
I understand that if we have our Rainbow Mojo resonating at full frequency we are immune to temperature. That mojo comes out of our skin/prism and creates a barrier above our skin that insulates us and allows us to be buck naked when it’s ten below zero outside. Yeah, I understand that, but do you know how hard it is to maintain an all-out Rainbow Mojo resonance going at all times? Drop that mojo resonance and you can freeze to death pretty quickly. You are forced to rely on your Rainbow Mojo…. or freeze to death.
Well, I almost froze to death. Miraculously, I was saved by a pack of wolves who happened to speak English.
Can you imagine what the odds of that happening are? I mean, you would think that most wolves in Sweden spoke Swedish.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. I was dropped off by a helicopter in the far northern mountains of Sweden. There was about a foot of snow on the ground and I was as naked as I was the day I came into this dimension. I did very well my first day as I walked across the mountains and through the forest. The sky was blue and free of clouds. There wasn’t a rainbow to be found anywhere. It was on the second day when I could no longer hold my mojo. It was in the late morning when my mojo began faltering and I began getting seriously cold. With no clothes, no cell phone, no knife, no matches…..with essentially nothing, my Rainbow Mojo was the only thing left for me to count on but it was faltering as I began shivering.
My mind started going into panic mode and when that happens it’s almost impossible to call forth the mojo. I looked around me for some kind of shelter but there was none. Looking down at my naked feet, I saw that they were bleeding but I couldn’t feel them. Maybe there was something over the next ridge. Hugging myself for warmth, I trudged through the snow. To my dismay, there was nothing on the other side of the ridge except more of what was on the first side. There was nothing but trees and snow.
Dropping down on my knees, I realized that I was about to die. I couldn’t summon any mojo for the life of me.
And that is when a wolf stepped out from behind a tree….then another one did….and another and another and another. Looking around me I realized that I was surrounded by a pack of around a dozen wolves. I remember the exact thought I had at that moment; “Oh good, at least now I won’t freeze to death. These wolves will eat me long before my flesh freezes.”
“What happened to your mojo?”
Startled, I looked around me to see who said that but there was no one around. It was just the pack of wolves.
“I said that. I am Anuuki.”
I suddenly realized that one of the wolves, the one who first stepped out from behind a tree, was speaking to me in my head. Looking at the wolf’s eyes I could feel the connection.
“Yes, it is me,” she said. I realized that this particular wolf was a crone.
“Hi,” I said gingerly. I must point out that, yes, the wolves were speaking English TELEPATHICALLY. They weren’t speaking English with their mouths. That would just be silly.
“We see that you are in crisis,” said the crone wolf. “Can we offer you some mojo to replenish with?”
I looked at all the other wolves who seemed to be drooling as they looked at me, “You want to help me? You mean you don’t want to eat me for lunch?”
One of the wolves to my left spoke up; “Actually, we just ate. And besides we don’t make a practice of eating humans. We’ve seen what you people eat. Yuck!”
A wolf to my right spoke up, “Yeah, but she smells like a vegetarian. I bet she wouldn’t taste so bad.”
At that point I was glad to hear that I still had a smell. It meant I was still alive.
“If you let us, we can help restore your mojo and then we will take you to see a rainbow.”
Looking into the eyes of the crone wolf, I could see and feel enormous amounts of unconditional love. I started to cry and I wanted to call her Mommy. And then I wondered how a pack of ferocious wolves was going to help me not freeze to death. And then I passed out, face down, into the snow. That was the last thing I remembered.
Have you ever awakened in a start in the middle of the night or early in the morning? You just suddenly burst awake and as you do so you immediately sit up in bed. Has that ever happened to you? I’ve experienced it a few times but not often. That is how I happened to wake up the next morning, though.
Now imagine waking up like I described and immediately sitting up in bed only to find that the ceiling is only about a foot above your face. That’s what happened to me. So instead of sitting up I brutally smacked my face into the ceiling. I can’t begin to tell you how much that hurt.
From the dirt falling down from my face’s collision with the ceiling, I realized that the ceiling was earthen. The ground was above me! Oh my God! Was I being buried alive? Was I in a grave?
Then I looked to my side. There was very little light in the grave but there was just enough to see that about a foot away from my throbbing face was a sleeping wolf. WTF?
As I lifted my head a few inches to look around me I realized that I was not in a grave but rather an underground wolf den. It was bigger than I imagined wolf dens to be but not by much. I figured there were about 18 inches between the floor and ceiling. There was no way I could sit up. The den was crammed full of sleeping wolves. There was absolutely no room to move.
Then, I guess it was a natural impulse, but I once again tried to sit up and, once again, I smacked my face into the ceiling. Ouch! Putting my hand to my face I felt wetness and realized that I had just given myself a bloody nose.
“Good morning naked white woman.”
I turned my head to the wolf who had telepathically spoken to me. It was Anuuki, the wolf whose face was right next to mine, “Good morning, Anuuki.”
“Sorry about the short ceiling. This home was built for wolves not naked white women.”
“I understand. I must say it’s a little creepy for me to be forced horizontally into a very small confining space. It’s a good thing I’m not claustrophobic.”
“You and me both, sister,” said the crone wolf just before she yawned. I’m no dentist but I was pretty impressed by her giant teeth, so well displayed by her yawn.
“So, naked white woman, have you thawed out?”
I lifted my head a few inches to look down at my body. It was like looking down at Sasquatch. I could not even see my body. It was covered with fur. Don’t tell my vegan life coach but I was sleeping under a blanket of fur. Looking at Anuuki, I replied, “Actually, I am quite toasty. Thank you very much.”
That’s when I realized that parts of my fur blanket were moving of their own volition. I realized that my fur blanket was waking up. Have you ever been all warm and snuggly under a fur blanket when that blanket starts squirming? It’s nice but weird.
Anuuki spoke up, “The children have never seen a naked white woman before so after we brought you into our home they were only too eager to help with the thawing out process. How many wolf pups can say that they took a nap on top of a naked white woman? The kids will be talking about it for years.”
“Yes, well I think I will remember it for years, too. Not many naked white women get chances to sleep with wolves. Hey, that could be my Indian name; Sleeps With Wolves. Maybe Kevin Costner will direct the movie…..”
“Oh, nothing. It’s just some dumb human thing.”
“Naked white woman, I would like you to meet Florensca and Gootleflen. They are the mothers of your fur blanket.”
I looked at the two wolves who were lying farther down the den towards my feet. We exchanged pleasantries and then they both rolled over onto their backs. Their large full teats hung down their sides.
I thought, Yeah, mine do that, too.
And that is when my fur blanket exploded with activity as about a dozen wolf pups scrambled to make their way to a nipple. Suddenly, I was naked again. Florensca and Gootleflen were now wearing the blanket.
“Naked white woman…..”
I turned to face Anuuki, “Yes?”
“While the kids are having breakfast this might be a good time for us to talk.”
Underground. Trapped in small confined space with wild animals who could easily make sandwiches out of me. Talk? Sure.
“But before we talk…. I’m getting tired of calling you naked white woman. Do you have a name?”
I laughed, “Yes I do, I’m Bernadette.”
Instinctively, I reached out to shake Anuuki’s hand. I must admit that I’ve been conditioned by the Western World. I realized that wolves don’t shake hands so I withdrew my hand.
“No, we don’t shake hands. What we do is this….” Anuuki leaned her face right into mine. Her nose was just centimeters from my mouth and nose. She sniffed and it was a powerful sniff; almost sucking all the air out of my lungs. Retreating back to her spot, she said, “Now you do it.”
Hesitantly, I moved my face slowly towards Anuuki. I put my nose directly in front of her nose and mouth then I took a deep breath. I exhaled and then reclined back into my horizontal position.
“See what happened?” asked Anuuki. “You let me put my mouth right next to yours, trusting that I would not bite your face off. And I let you put your mouth next to mine, trusting that you would not bite my face off. Isn’t that a lot like a handshake? Once we have smelled each other we will remember each other for infinity.”
“That’s awesome. And just to make sure you know, I would never bite your face off. I’m a vegetarian.”
We drifted off into silence for a moment and then Anuuki spoke up, “Bernadette Safari. That’s a pretty name for a naked white woman.”
I smiled, “Yeah, I like it. I’ve grown accustomed to it.” I was also starting to grow accustomed to being called naked white woman.
“So Bernadette, what’s a pretty naked white woman like yourself doing looking for rainbows in the frigid cold of northern Scandinavia?”
I giggled. “That’s just what I do. I’m a Rainbow Patroller. Right now, I’m on a Rainbow Mojo Quest. While I’m stripped down to the very core of my being I connect with a rainbow, infusing my being with Rainbow Mojo. It’s also a process that infuses Rainbow Mojo into the planet and all beings upon it.”
“That sounds like very important work. You must be very dedicated.”
“I am. It will be soon after I finish this quest that I will be taking my oath. I will then be a Rainbow Patroller for life, dedicated to Rainbow Mojo.”
“Can I let you in on a little secret?” Anuuki looked around as though looking for someone who might be listening. “Guess what the name of our little wolf clan is. We’re the Rainbow Clan!”
For some stupid reason, my immediate bodily response to what Anuuki just told me was to sit up. Once again, I brutally slammed my face into the ceiling. Damn, I’ve got to stop doing that. Feeling my forehead for cracks, I turned to Anuuki, “Well, hot damn! It’s no wonder I found you guys. So you’re the Rainbow Wolves.”
“And it’s no wonder we found you. Yes, we are the Rainbow Wolf Clan. If you hang around long enough maybe you can attend one of our Rainbow Dances. You’ve also got to experience our full moon whoopjamboree. We wolves know how to celebrate. On certain nights we try to manifest Northern Lights by howling together at just the right frequency. You humans think the Northern Lights are simply created by the sun and its radiation. We wolves, however, have an important role in that.”
“Really? I had no idea. Oh, I’m so glad I met you guys. There are a thousand questions I’d love to ask you about both rainbows and Northern Lights. I’d…..”
Just then, Bindhar, a dashing young Beta male came running into the den, “Anuuki, Roldor told me to tell you that the storm will be ending soon and the time to see a rainbow is fast approaching.”
“Thank you, Bindhar,” said Anuuki. Bindhar turned around and ran out of the den, splashing some snow off his coat as he moved.
Anuuki looked at me, “We’ll have to finish our talking later. It is important that we start the procedure soon.”
“Yes, the procedure will enable you to hold your mojo and to be out in the freezing cold naked without even feeling the cold.”
“Yes, Bernadette. I’ll explain the whole procedure when we get started. Right now, you should crawl out of the den and up through the hole. Once outside, you can stretch your body. And be sure to eat some snow. You’ve got to keep hydrated, you know. Oh, and while you’re out there you might want to pee. Unlike humans, we wolves don’t pee inside our homes. That’s just gross.”
“Oh,” I said, taking in what she had said. Very suddenly, I realized that I really did need to pee — and badly. Unfortunately, my first conditioned response to this was to sit up. Once again, I viciously slammed my face into the ceiling. My face was really starting to hurt.
I then proceeded to crawl like a baby on my elbows out of the wolf den. I kept thinking, ‘How the hell did they get me in here?’
A few years back while I was in Wyoming I spent the better part of a day sitting in the middle of a prairie dog village. If you’ve never done that I highly recommend it. Prairie dogs live in two worlds simultaneously. Sitting in the middle of the village I could watch the prairie dogs scamper about over the ground, going in and out of their holes. But I could not see the other half of their world; that part which was underground. Above ground, I could see a prairie dog pop up out of a hole then disappear back into it only to pop up from a different hole thirty feet away. I could only imagine them scampering through their tunnel network. I guessed the level of activity was just as high below ground as above. Hmm, I wonder if it was prairie dogs who came up with that old adage, “As above, so below.”
Anyway, I really enjoyed that time with the prairie dogs. It reminded me of that Rainbow Quest in Sweden years before. Why? It’s all about the coming out of a hole aspect. It was about hole mojo. As a kid in Texas I saw ground hogs and prairie dogs and rabbits all peeking out of their holes in the ground. Back then I thought it must be so cool to poke your head up out of the ground and look at the world from that angle. Thanks to the Rainbow Wolf Clan I actually got to experience first-hand exactly what that was like; to poke my head up out of the ground. That’s a major reason that I enjoyed my time at the prairie dog village so much; because I could empathize with those little rodents. I knew what it was like to experience both the underground and above ground worlds and to go through the holes that separate those worlds. Watching those prairie dogs scampering about, I wanted to dive down into one of their holes and explore their underground city. Of course, I couldn’t do that since prairie dog holes are far too small for me to crawl through.
The hole to the Rainbow Wolf Clan’s underground lair was not much bigger. While before I was wondering how the wolves got me into their den, now I was wondering how I was going to get out. I had to draw my arms completely to my sides and just shimmy up, pushing with my toes. It was a tight fit but I finally squeezed through and my head popped up out of the ground. It was just what I had always wanted to experience and it was even better than I had imagined. To see the world with your eyeballs perfectly even with the ground is a beauteous perspective. So many animals and bugs see the world from this perspective all the time but we humanoids usually see from a perspective that is five or six feet off the ground. The famous Mongolian Rainbow Mojo Shaman Urkvat Bakvett always used to say, “Like underwear, change your perspectives on a daily basis. This keeps things from getting stinky.”
I think all humans should spend some time underground in a very confined space and then pop their head up out of a hole in the ground to see the world from that view. Seriously, it’s a blast.
I stopped squirming out of the hole when my eyes reached the level of the ground. I stayed at that position for several minutes luxuriating in the perspective. Above ground it was dark and gray and cold and snowing fairly heavily. Looking up into the sky my face became the ground upon which the snowflakes landed then melted. Looking around, I saw there were four or five wolves milling about. From my angle they looked really tall.
Finally, I shimmied the rest of the way out of the hole. Standing up, I felt dizzy for just a moment but then I was okay. The snow falling on my naked skin was cold and so was the snow that I began walking barefoot through. A girl likes her privacy so I walked away from the wolves that were milling about towards a thicket of pine trees. I stopped momentarily to scoop up some snow in my hands to eat. When I made it to the trunk of a thick tree I stopped and turned around. The wolves were all staring at me. So much for privacy. I squatted with my back to the tree and my knees spread open before the wolves and I proceeded to urinate.
You know, men think that peeing out-of-doors is an exclusive part of their domain. Well, I happen to like peeing out-of-doors. I think it is a very womanly thing to do. I find it very comforting.
Instinctively, my right hand reached to my side for some toilet paper. Obviously, there was none. Did I think I was at home or something?
Standing up, I walked back to the den entrance. The milling wolves never took their eyes off me. When I stopped to eat some more snow one of the wolves began walking over to where I had peed. I watched him put his nose to the ground and smell my pee then look at me. My first inclination was to consider that rude but I realized that in the wolf world there were surely other unknown meanings to that. The other wolves then also walked over to my pee and they each took a good whiff. It was just a tiny bit creepy. I rejoiced in the fact, though, that the wolves were getting to have a brand new olfactory experience; one which surely they have never had before nor would they likely have again. We all need to smell new smells, right?
I suddenly realized that I was colder than a penguin’s frozen margarita. Looking at the hole in the ground, I couldn’t believe that I was about to dive underground in order to get warm and I couldn’t believe how eager I was to do it. I was starting to shiver. But before I could get down on the ground the hole erupted like a volcano! It suddenly spewed forth numerous cute furry balls. The pups were out! The pups were out! I couldn’t go back in the den just yet; not with ridiculously cute wolf puppies running around in the snow. Are you kidding?
So I played with the pups. I chased them and they chased me. We ran and jumped and skipped and let out joyful noises. Eventually, they managed to trip me and I fell flat on my naked ass in the snow. Every last one of the pups then proceeded to jump on top of me and start tickling me. I have never in my entire life been so profoundly tickled.
I finally managed to wiggle out from under them. I was both laughing and crying hysterically. Warm tears fell down upon my cold cheeks. I was having so much fun.
And then one of the pups discovered my urine. Of course, every single one of the kids had to go over for a smell. I took the opportunity to head for the hole. I was about two minutes away from turning into a popsicle. I got down on my knees, put my arms out in front of me and dived into the hole.
It felt good to be in the warm den again. Anuuki, Florensca, and Gootleflen were talking amongst themselves as I squirmed in. I settled into the same spot I had been lying in before. For a brief moment I wondered what two wolves had to give up their spots for me.
Anuuki spoke, “We do not have much time so we better get started.”
“What can I do?” I asked enthusiastically.
“First of all, you need to learn how to milk a wolf.”
“Excuse me?” I noticed that Florensca rolled over on her back exposing her teats.
“It’s not hard. Just gently squeeze the teat with one hand and hold the palm of your other hand below the nipple so that you catch the milk in your hand.”
“In my hand?”
“I didn’t stutter. Yes, in your hand. Once you have some in your hand you can then rub it over your body.”
“Listen, do you want to stand naked out in the subzero cold without freezing to death so that you can do your rainbow thing?”
“Yeah, okay.” I scooted closer to Florensca. I grabbed one of her breasts and started milking.
“There you go. You’ve got the hang of it. Now rub the milk that is in the palm of your hand together with your other hand then start rubbing the milk onto your skin. You have to cover every inch, every millimeter of your exposed skin. You can’t miss a spot. You can probably get a few squeezes out of every teat. When Florensca is depleted you can move on to Gootleflen. Between the two of them they should have enough milk to cover every square centimeter of your body.”
I started rubbing the wolf milk on my neck and shoulders. It was kind of creepy at first but after a while it really wasn’t so bad.
“Don’t forget your face. Be sure to get all around your eyes and in your nostrils and in your ears. Any part of your body that isn’t covered can freeze.”
I went back for more milk then I rubbed it in then I went back for more. I was very conscious of not leaving any part of my skin not covered with wolf milk. As I rubbed, I asked Anuuki, “So this wolf milk will keep my skin insulated from the cold?”
“No, it’s only the first part of the procedure. Once your entire body is covered with wolf milk, the wolf milk will begin soaking into your skin. This will form a protective barrier but alone it’s not enough. Not all of the wolf milk soaks into your skin, however. You will still have a nice thick layer of it on you but the purpose of that is to get the pups to lick you.”
I immediately sat up….except I couldn’t. Once again I wickedly slammed my face into the ceiling.
“You know, the wolf milk might just help on those bruises you’re going to have on your face.”
“Good, because my face feels like it’s been beaten with a meat tenderizer mallet.”
I got a few more squirts from Florensca and started rubbing my legs with wolf milk. “Okay, what’s the point of putting wolf milk on my skin if they are just going to lick it off?”
“That’s the point; to get them to lick you. You see, the saliva from the pups’ mouths is where the real mojo is. Wolf saliva is very concentrated with mojo but, like with so many species, it is even more super concentrated in the young ones. So once every single millimeter of your body is covered with pup saliva then you will have a very strong protective layer of mojo covering you and it could be 70 below out there and you can still be just as naked as you want. You’ll just feel cool. ….and, of course, we can’t get the pups to lick every millimeter of your body unless it was covered by wolf breast milk.”
Gootleflen spoke up, “You can put some breast milk on anything and those silly children will lick it.”
Anuuki added, “Yeah, that’s another reason the pups are doing it instead of the rest of us. Pups will lick anything.”
I stopped rubbing for just a moment while I thought about that and then I feverishly resumed rubbing.
“When you’re done with your body you need to put the wolf milk into your hair. And by the way, sorry we can’t help you out. We don’t have hands. But you’re doing a good job. Make sure you really get it in thick in your hair. The hair is very important. Coated with the wolf saliva you won’t have any mojo drain with your hair.”
Florensca was spent and I moved on to Gootleflen. As I continued to rub the wolf milk into my skin I thought, ‘Man, I can’t wait to tell Mommy that I milked a wolf
Mommy tried to get me to milk a goat one time but I faked an epileptic seizure to get out of it.
“So how long does this wolf saliva mojo last?”
“Only about 48 hours; provided, of course that you don’t bathe. Hopefully, that will be long enough for you to do your rainbow thing and then get you someplace warm.”
I rubbed and rubbed and rubbed. Finally, I was pretty sure that I had covered every millimeter of my body, “Will it hurt?”
“Hurt? You mean the pups licking you? Oh gosh no, it won’t hurt. You might accidentally have a little orgasm or two but, no, it shouldn’t hurt.”
Florensca chimed in, “Of course, they will no doubt scratch you up a bit with their claws as they climb over you but it’s no big deal.”
‘Easy for you to say; you with the fur coat,’ I thought. Then I remembered that they could read my thought and I wish I hadn’t thought that. Then I realized they could read my thought of wishing I hadn’t thought that……
“Now when we call the pups in the main thing you have to remember is, surrender. Remember, they have to lick every millimeter of your body. They’ve got to lick your eyes and your ears and your nose and everywhere else. Don’t put up any resistance; just surrender to it. It will all be over in about 20 to 30 minutes.
Suddenly I was very nervous. What the hell was I doing lying in an underground chamber, my body covered with wolf milk, about to be licked by a dozen wolf pups? Had I somehow slipped into a different dimension or something? And what if this whole milk and saliva thing was just a big hoax designed to get a laugh out of the strange naked white woman? Would I even survive this Rainbow Quest? Would I ever have enough mojo to become the best Rainbow Patroller that I can be? Would I ever see Mommy and Daddy again?
And then Anuuki called in the pups….
I’m afraid that it is impossible for me to accurately describe my experience of being licked by a dozen wolf pups over my entire naked body. No words come even close. Yes, I had a couple of little orgasms. I couldn’t help it. It was just my body’s reaction to the outrageously intense sensations. Anuuki was right in that surrender was the only way to deal with this most bizarre ritual. There was nothing I could do until they were done; until they had licked every drop of wolf milk from my body.
It did not take too long before they had the entire front half of my body licked. I turned over and they then licked my back side. And then they licked my hair! Can you even imagine what it’s like to have a dozen wolf pups licking your hair? I was quite surprised by how strong the pups’ tongues were. They just kept licking and licking. If I ever licked something as long and furiously as they licked me, my tongue would probably fall out from exhaustion.
Lots of women pay big money to go to spas to have all sorts of beauty treatments. I never do but lots of women do. I tell you what; if there was a wolf-pup-licking spa I wouldn’t care how much it costs. I’d be going as often as I could. There is simply nothing like it.
Eventually, the pups finally grew tired. One by one they got off of me and went to curl up next to either Florensca or Gootleflen to go to sleep. Finally, there was just one pup left. Its back paws were on the ground and its front paws were on my shoulder as it continued to lick my hair. The pup’s tail was wagging back and forth as furiously as its tongue was licking my hair. As the pup’s tail wagged back and forth it repeatedly slapped my face. I didn’t mind, though. It was soft and furry and didn’t hurt. It was nothing like bashing my face into the ceiling.
Suddenly Bindhar came rushing into the den, “Roldor says that if we’re going to see a rainbow that we’ve got to leave right now!” Bindhar immediately turned around and left the den.
The last wolf pup stopped licking my hair and stepped down off my shoulder. It then gave me one final lick right across my eye. As the pup went over to its mother to go to sleep, I scrambled into action.
“You go out first. I’ll be right behind you,” said Anuuki.
So I squirmed and shimmied and crawled to the hole and then out the hole. Outside, the heavy snow had given way to light snow flurries. The sky was not as dark and gray.
I turned around to see who had said that. I quickly realized that it was Roldor, the alpha male. He was looking right into my eyes, “Follow me. We’ve got to hurry.” Roldor then broke into a fast run heading into the forest.
I didn’t have time to think about it. I just started running after Roldor. Several of the wolves, including Anuuki, were running beside me following Roldor.
I’ve got to say that wolves can run rather quickly. I had a feeling they were running slightly slower than normal just so that I could keep up. It was not long before all the wolves were ahead of me and I was the last one in line following Roldor. Running barefoot in the snow is not easy. It was made more difficult by the fact that I was weighted down by huge amounts of wolf saliva. My hair seemed to weigh a ton. It was sopping wet with saliva and as I ran drops of wolf saliva would go flying off my hair.
We ran and ran and ran. We ran through forest and glen, up embankments and down ravines, and we jumped over fallen logs and climbed over boulders. We kept running and running. Running is not my favorite thing. I once faked an asthma attack to get out of doing the 50-yard dash in P.E. class in junior high. But I could feel the urgency so I ran with all my might. To my utter surprise, I didn’t grow tired of running at all. Apparently, the breast milk/saliva treatment not only protected me from the bitter sub-zero temperatures, it also seemed to give me extra energy. I realized that the wolf mojo was very, very real.
Suddenly, I saw that all the wolves had stopped running so I put the brakes on. Of course, humans — especially naked humans — don’t have brakes. It’s not easy to quickly stop on slick ice and snow. I ended up flipping through the air and landing on my naked ass. I then slid on the snow down an embankment and finally landed on a boulder. Shaking myself, I got up on my hands and knees and that is when I realized that the boulder I was on sat at the very top of a cliff. Looking down from the boulder I saw a sheer vertical drop off of about 300 feet. I realized how close I came to shooting off of the cliff into the air and falling to a certain death.
Very carefully I stood up and walked back to where all the wolves were. I looked at Anuuki, “You guys could have at least told me that we were headed straight for a cliff.”
“We did but your human mind was too busy thinking about junior high school to hear us.”
And then Bindhar suddenly yelled out, “It’s starting, it’s starting!”
I turned around. I realized that the wolves and I were on the top of a canyon wall that overlooked a valley. Across the valley were some forested hills. The clouds were still pretty dark over those hills but they were breaking up on our side of the canyon. Sunlight was breaking through the clouds and above the hills on the other side of the canyon a rainbow was forming.
Normally upon seeing a rainbow I would immediately begin juicing the prism but I was still catching my breath from all the running. So I gave myself a moment as I looked at the wolves, who were now all looking at the rainbow. And then it happened. All the wolves began to howl. The sound echoed through the canyon below. Wolf howling is some of the most intense music to be found in Mother Nature. These canines are expert musicians.
And then I noticed something wonderfully peculiar. As the wolves howled a cloud of condensation formed in front of their mouths. Looking closely, I realized that there were little itty bitty rainbows in those clouds of condensation. The wolves were howling rainbows! I never got around to asking Anuuki how wolves experience rainbows but I could see that it was in a very profound spiritual way. I was overcome with such incredible joy seeing the wolves howl rainbows.
But I didn’t have time to dwell on that. I closed my eyes, juiced the prism then opened my eyes to see an incredible complete double rainbow over the hills on the other side of the canyon. The Rainbow Mojo soon began to flow into me through the prism. The mojo was incredibly strong and the rainbow seemed to last forever. I just kept pulling the Rainbow Mojo into me and soon tears were flowing from my eyes and my body started swaying from all the super intense energy.
Out of the tens of thousands of rainbows that I’ve experienced that rainbow in Sweden had some of the very strongest Rainbow Mojo I’ve ever felt. By the time the rainbow finally dissipated I was literally humming with Mojo. My vibrations had intensified so much that I felt that I could just fly over that canyon if I wanted to. Stopping the prism, I put my arms out to my sides, looked up into the sky, and said, “Thank you!”
I then walked a little further away from the edge of the cliff and I sat my naked ass down onto the snow. It is so cool to sit down on the snow with a naked ass and not get cold. I wish everyone could experience that.
Anuuki then walked over to me and stuck her nose directly in front of my nose and mouth. She took a deep whiff, “Well, Bernadette, you certainly are full of mojo.”
“I sure am. I’m buzzing from head to toe. Oh, that was so good!”
I then stuck my nose directly in front of Anuuki’s nose and mouth and took a deep whiff, “You’re certainly full of mojo, too.” Oddly, I could actually smell the mojo.
Anuuki sat down on her rear haunches, “So tell me, crazy naked white woman, now that you have your mojo back, what are you going to do now?”
I giggled, “Now I’m going to go to Disneyland.”
Anuuki looked at me like I was several crustaceans, a fish, and several hush puppies short of a seafood platter.
I giggled some more, “I’m kidding. Disneyland would be a total buzzkill after this. What am I going to do now? I’m going to keep walking. You said the breast milk/saliva will work for about 48 hours so I’m just going to keep walking naked through the snow. Eventually, they will pick me up and take me back to school in Africa.” Looking into her eyes, I added, “I am so glad that I didn’t freeze to death in the snow; that you wonderful wolves saved me and helped me get my mojo back. I am so thankful for you and your family. I will remember you forever.”
“And we will certainly remember you. We are rainbow wolves so how could we not help out a rainbow human? You helped us by providing us with unexpected excitement on a cold, snowy winter’s day. Seeing that we wolves are not the only ones holding the mojo is a huge relief. Today, we all saw how connected all beings are. Someday all animals, whether friend or foe, will stop what they are doing to look up at a rainbow and the Rainbow Mojo will infuse all life and the world will change.”
I nodded my head, “Exactly. That’s what we’re all working towards. Someday, the mojo will be so intense in this world that it will be impossible for anyone not to be deliriously happy.”
All the other wolves slowly came up to me and I hugged and kissed each one in turn. They all felt like family. I realized that I would miss them. Turning to Anuuki, I said, “Give the kids back in the den a good whiff for me. Tell them that I love them and thanks for the mojo.”
“They will be sad that you’re not coming back to the den.”
“Yes, I know but it’s time to move on. I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart.”
I stood up and wiped the snow off my ass. I then wiped the tears off my face, “I love you guys!” With that, I turned and walked away.
About fifty paces away I turned around and saw the wolves still standing where they had been standing in the same place. And then, abruptly they began to howl. I was completely overcome by their music. Tears were now gushing from my eyes. I waved at them and blew them kisses then I turned back around and kept walking away….