Being Donald Trump

A lot of people are very angry at Donald Trump right now. For the sake of our collective blood pressure — and let’s face it: as a country we really can’t afford it to get any higher — I want to help.
 
 Being angry at Donald Trump for the things he does is like being angry at a shark for eating. The anger that we feel is based upon an objective measure of right and wrong, what come people call a “moral compass.” Donald doesn’t have this.
 
 There is no “right” or “wrong” in Donald’s world. In his world, there are things that Donald Trump can do:

  • Grope, sleep with, and occasionally marry beautiful women
  • Build large structures, like Trump Tower in New York or Trump Wall along the Rio Grande
  • Run for President of the United States

Run for President of the United States

These things are good.

There are also things that Donald Trump cannot do:

  • Grope or sleep with Megyn Kelly
  • Pay for all of the work to build his large structures
  • Be President of the United States (it may take another month for him to realize this one)

These things are bad, as are all of the things associated with them.

Like the shark, Donald does the things that are good when he feels like doing them. His world is simple and he likes it that way. When he finds a new bad thing that he can’t do, it frustrates him for a while but then he goes back to the good things and he is happy.

When he does something that you think is “wrong,” your outrage baffles and angers Donald. Why don’t you want him to do something that is clearly good, since he already did it? He can’t change his behavior, because he only does things that are good, so you are wasting your breath.

In Donald Trump’s world, other people aren’t living creatures with wants and needs. They are furniture. They are there to be admired, stroked, and collected, and when they are no longer useful or beautiful they are replaced. Donald’s presidential campaign has been one long shopping trip, gathering up all of the cabinets, chairs, and tables that he will stack on top of each other to reach the presidential cookie jar.

When another person expresses feelings or opinions, Donald is confused and annoyed. Furniture doesn’t have feelings; it has cushions. Furniture can’t tell Donald what to do.

There are people who say, “He says what I’m thinking!” and you’re right. We all have a little Donald inside of us. It’s the voice that tells you to sleep with your neighbor’s wife, to steal that bag of Twinkies when the convenience store clerk’s back is turned, to get out of your car in traffic and bash the guy in front of you in the head with a tire iron. Fortunately for society, most of us also have another voice — the conscience or superego — that overrides the little Donald, so we don’t do those things.

So don’t get mad at Donald when he does things you don’t like. He doesn’t understand your anger. He can’t. You can feel sorry for him if you want, but don’t bother yelling. You’re only hurting yourself.

And should you vote for him? Dear God, no! Just as you wouldn’t pull the shark into the boat, you shouldn’t put Donald in the White House. That would be neither right nor good.


Originally published at wickedsmaht.blogspot.com on October 9, 2016.

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