Please stop saying,“this year will be my year

“You know instead of saying, ‘this year will be my year’. I’m going to say, ‘this year I will improve’. In reality, I will never have my best year. I have learned to understand that there will always be times worse and better.”

I said those words above during a two am during a conversation with one of my friends; we both couldn’t sleep and I was really feeling my 2:13 am playlist. I’m not saying that since I had this conversation at two am it’s a groundbreaking discovery, well maybe it was for me.

I made that comment because every single summer we say the same thing,”this will be my year”. It never is our year though, every year just comes and goes, leaving us even more desperate and frustrated. I came to the realization that there is no such thing as a perfect year, there will always be things that will come around to ruin your day, week, month or year. There is no way a single human could possibly have a year only filled with smiles and happiness, it’s just not realistic. The media will try to trick you into thinking that it’s an actual possibility, but in reality, that model is going through the same things as you. Those youtubers too, daily vloggers no matter how many times they cry in front of the camera, are hiding something even bigger inside of their hearts. Pain is not always visible.

Along with that realization, I came to an understanding that what you can achieve is a better version of yourself every year. I’m sure there is something you want to improve whether it’s personal or just in general, that’s how you have a better year. I’m centering this around summer because of school, but you don’t have to wait for a new year to improve yourself.

I understand that I will never have the perfect year, after all, I can’t plan for every single event in my life. I can work towards my goals, I can reflect on my past self and figure out what I want to change and keep. I picked up the habit of comparing my past self and current self because of the YouTuber lavendaire x It helped me realize just how much I actually achieved and what I really didn’t like about myself, what exactly I was holding back on.

Earlier during the school year, I sat down and realized that I wanted to improve my self-confidence and how honest I was with myself. I kept that promise and did just that for the rest of the year, while the beginning of the year was lackluster, once I decided to work towards improving myself things started to look up. Now instead of looking back on this passing school year in disappointment, I look back on it with pride. I made the decision not to concern myself with having the best year and in return, my year improved.

Also what happens if you do have your best year? You’ve peaked, now what? Once you have this mindset you’re limiting all possibilities of things actually getting better past a certain point.

My friend, Alif, likes to say that all you can do is try to approach this figurative best year. You won’t ever be able to achieve this year unless your life was already chosen for you by someone else.

I would also like to ask you a question, what exactly makes the best year?

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