Push or flow: how we’re exhausting oursleves

Are you pushing or flowing? We’ve become so numb, so disconnected from who we really are, we’ve lost sight of our own innate source of inspiration and we’re running around busily trying to make others’ inspiration fit us.

It’s everywhere.

Commit to this 30 day programme.

Follow this 7 step road to success.

Adopt these leadership behaviours.

Apply yourself to having good sleep habits.

So many instructions to follow. So much effort to put it. So much change to be made through application, hard work and effort. Exhausting effort.

Why exhausting? Because it’s not our truth. We’re all, with the best of intentions, sharing what’s worked for us to help others. The steps we’ve followed, the tactics we’ve used, the length of time we’ve practiced for. But that’s their’s not ours. A great guide, interesting information, but not an absolute gospel for all.

Our life is tailor made for us. Perfect for us. Putting on someone else’s clothes feels weird and uncomfortable.

But the more numb we are the less we feel the weirdness, we just follow the steps and assume it’s us that’s the problem when we can’t get to the end of the 30 days or when we don’t get the spectacular results the other person got. We must need to try harder.

Keep applying, keep trying, keep efforting. Until it becomes too big to bear and something gives.

The “give” doesn’t have to be a spectacular breakdown or midlife awakening, although it might be.

And unlike most relationship breakdowns, this time, ‘it’s not you, it’s them’.

They saw something one day. They had a moment of inspriation. A realisation. A beautiful lightbulb moment that gave them the exact idea, motivation and direction that was perfect for what they were doing at the time they were doing it. And because this is how it came about, they followed it with grace and ease. Even if they were putting in apparent effort and ‘working hard’ on it, it won’t have felt like that to them.

That conceptual mind I mentioned in my last post, it’s doing that thing again, where it’s seen a cool concept and believed it can cookie-cutter it into this life you’re living here.

It works to an extent because we do all have alot of similarity but we are also all entirely, exquisitely unique. Those nuances between us are what bring the beautiful flavour-mix to the world. But in it’s belief it needs to be secured by the outside world through acceptance by the group, the conceptual mind can’t see this nuance, it can’t see it’s OK to allow your own true inspiration to come through. And it’s busy. Who has time to hang around waiting for inspiration when we can nick someone else’s.

And we totally can nick someone else’s. It is definitely entirely possible and is happening everywhere, everyday to (supposedly) save time and (in theory) make more moolah faster. But the trade-off is the ill-fitting suit that wasn’t made for us. The trade off is the effort we go to and time we put in trying to make it fit. The trade off is in the energy expended in trying to make a change happen — pushing it on ourselves — instead of knowing an obviousness of action will come along that’s ours and perfect for us at just the right time. Flow. Ease. Grace. Our. Unique. Brilliance.

For as long as we stay in push and effort we’ll keep numbing ourselves up, layering up the beliefs about this apparent us and our abilities, the thoughts about whether this will get us there, the stress hormones surging round the system cutting us off from the truth.

Until we stop.

We start to de-layer and un-learn.

We start to reconnect and remember who we were before we began to cookie-cutter.

Phew. It’s easier here.

And relax.

Pure flow.