Oh yes, been here.
Time will heal. If you need to sit at the bottom of the shower to get there, then so be it huh.
Sounds a tad crazy, so stay with me.. but, I sometimes use the water to wash away the pain. Eg — feel the water, the flow, how it gently runs down your body, watch it flow down the drain too. Wash it all away.
Just a little exercise that sometimes calms me.
I wish you the best on your journey.
Keep writing it helps me.