I made some definitions up.*
evolove n, — higher love
evolove vt, — the conscientious choice to grow to a higher love
Yesterday, we helped a stranger(friend of my sister in-law)move into a new apartment. For her, it was the long exhale after 3 years of held breath in a bad family situation fraught with mental abuse, time in a women’s shelter, and depression. Yesterday, a new instalment of this person’s life was written.
Upon arriving at the rental van place, which was actually a convenience store, we waited as the agent and stranger completed the contract. The store was poorly heated -definitely a cost cutting move by its warmly attired owner. However, as the bitter cold inside this store began to numb my extremities, I could sense an emotional chill in the air too as the stranger went through the motions as if simultaneously present and absent. It was going to be a hard day for her.
We drove the better part of an hour north and backed the van in to an unwelcoming driveway (snow covered with cars blocking the entrance). As we entered the house, it was as if the chill from the convenience store was there waiting for us. But this time, it was an emotional cold that filled the space discourtesy of the residents(her daughter, son in-law and grandsons). I wondered to myself whether family orders had been handed down not to talk to grandma, or to offer help?
It was tense in there. We tread lightly and quickly back and forth with her furniture and boxes. No time for idle conversation. That option had been removed from the itinerary in advance. We worked quietly and avoided eye contact. As the sun broke through the basement windows it cast shadows in the room that the stranger once called home. Did she have doubts about her decision?
We loaded the van with the possessions only 65 years could accumulate and my wife overhears, “Grandma, are you leaving because daddy says you have to go or because you say you have to go?” To which a tearful reply came, “Both. But now you can come and visit me.”
So I share my Saturday with you as a reminder to us all, that this would not have happened if everyone was able to act with love towards one another.
Excuses in 3, 2, 1. Some people don’t know how to love because they have never experienced love. Love means nothing to a tennis player. Some people choose not to love because they are afraid of being hurt.
My reply to the devoloved camp can be summed up with the following quotes;
Tennyson — “tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.”
Hanson — “ What if I fall? Oh, but my darling what if you fly?”
backwards or frontwards, it doesn’t matter — love is love.
If you stick to the sentence above then read no more.
If you choose to read on, you will be offered unsolicited advice about everything love is not.
Last chance to bail. OK. It is in the spirit of love that I share this post.
you cannot speak ill of someone
and say it’s love
you cannot cause physical or mental harm to someone
as a show of love
you cannot spew alternative facts or truths about someone
and be capable of understanding love
SO…just to clarify a great deal more things that are NOT about love.
Selling another person is not love.
Buying another person is not love.
Saying I’ll pray for you while someone suffers is not love.
Giving out of excess is nice, but it is not love.
Choosing convenient passages out of sacred text to suit your needs is not love. Being more righteous than right is not love.
Focusing your talents only on the goal of accumulating stuff is not love.
Clenching your fist when oppressed people demand justice is not love.
Yelling, “Go back to where you came from!” is not love.
Promoting bigotry, racism, and intolerance is not love.
Denying basic human rights is not love.
Starving your people is not love.
Withholding protection to the most vulnerable on our planet is not love.
Stealing in the name of corporate greed is not love.
Destroying the ocean with toxic waste, garbage, and over fishing is not love.
Sending soldiers to fight wars on behalf oligarchs is not love.
Telling lies to confound an easily manipulated populace is not love.
Drugging someone’s drink is not love.
Sexual assault is not love.
Shooting people is not love.
Shooting up is not love.
Ignoring the rest of the world is not love.
Allowing stockpiles of food to spoil while the world starves outside your door is not love.
Want this to change? It is simple evolve how you love. As I share in my classroom. Look out for someone else, and you’ll find that someone else is looking out for you.
Love feeds, clothes, protects, shares, supports, encourages, teaches, and still wins.
OK…I know there are tonnes more things to describe in the …is not love section, but I need to move on too. It is easy to get buried in this mindset so instead I am going to focus my energy and thoughts on what love is instead of…you know. Feel free to add your thoughts in the comment section and share with everyone you know. Thanks for reading. Love Will
*I searched for this word and found a band, a dating site and some other things so I decided to make up my own definition to suit my purpose(s).
Sorry, not sorry.