Obama to lead “Recol” campaign as he seeks Queen’s permission for U.S.A. to rejoin colonies.

Dateline: London. 23.04.16. In a surprise move U.S president, Barack Obama, today asked Brit queen, Liz Windsor, if the U.S.A. could “please come back in.”

“I was playing golf with Prime-minister Cameron earlier today and he was telling me what a huge mistake it will be if you Brits support the Vote Leave campaign in the coming referendum and thereby refuse to become the 28th state of the almost totally dysfunctional European Union,” said the president. “Dave was very persuasive and that got me thinking.”

“I’d just hit a sweet seven iron off the fifth tee when it came to me,” continued Mr Obama. “We should never have left you in the first place! Our declaration of independence was an extraordinarily naive and divisive political mistake that, if it happened today, would have played out terribly on Twitter.”

As Mr Obama headed back to Washington to talk strategy with the rest of newly-convened Recol campaign team Lord Cornwallis, a palace spokesman, seemed to suggest the Recols may well have cause for optimism.

“I’m not saying there aren’t a few obstacles,” he said, “but if the Yanks are prepared to throw in Arkansas and Hawaii as well the original thirteen colonies and sensibly accede to our request for the extraordinary rendition of the great-great-great-great-great-great-grandson of Paul Revere then I suspect, old chap, we may well have a deal.”