If You’re Trying To Avoid Pissing People Off, You’re Screwed

All my life, I have tried to be a kind, nice guy. If you got to know me, you’d describe me as the plain vanilla, passive, friendly guy. I’m almost too middle-of-the-road. I try too hard not to rock the boat. I’ve unconsciously tried to make every encounter I’ve had with someone into a pleasant relationship.

But what’s devastating to me is that I still run into people who get offended by what I do or pissed off moderately frequently. It’s the classic “social media” cliche where no matter what you say or what you’re doing online, if you get enough eye balls, someone is going to get pissed off. You could be donating to charity or it could be a Mother Teresa video, someone is going to dislike it.

If I had to choose one style of talking to people to not piss them off, it wouldn’t be too far off from my overly kind, too-passive approach. Yet this plain and simple way of talking still ends up offending people, which frustrates me. I’m not trying to piss people off. I’m not one of those people who intentionally have extreme personalities to rub people in the wrong way. And I care too much about people that I’m hurt when they don’t like me that I work hard to prevent it. Yet it’s ridiculous that it still happens to me!

Just the other day, a lady took a compliment about being a feminist the wrong way and started mouthing me off. She said some hurtful things to me because she assumed I was taking a jab at feminism and had the audacity to declare that I should feel bad about myself.

Quite frankly, these are the moments when you just have to man up, stop leaning on other people’s lame advice, and just use your common sense. In this case, I decided to stop caring so much about what other’s think, especially small-minded people who say hurtful things using large assumptions based on a small snapshot of the information I’ve given them.

No matter how you act or what you do, there will be idiots who don’t like you. And you shouldn’t bother to try to please everyone or get these people to like you in the first place.

Let’s cast aside this “nice guy” mold of trying to please everyone we meet, even strangers. This does no one any good and turns you into a caricature of your true self. I’m sick of feeling sorry for getting disrespected by people that I have done all this work to please people who don’t even deserve to be pleased.