Honest and interesting read. Thank you for sharing. Having been assaulted physically and verbally by an abusive stepfather who beat me up for sport, I understand the helplessness and the anger one feels from from abuse.
For what it’s worth; I work out, a lot. Like 5–6 days a week. Exercise helps to release feel good endorphins that counteract anger. I also read the bible, study philosophy, and meditate.
It does get better with time. I have 5 children and a loving wife. I have never abused them in any way. I have gotten angry with all of them raised my voice. This does not happen often, very rare, but when I do, I apologize and try to love them even more.