The Naked Truth

In recent months, and perhaps more than ever, there’s been an especially concentrated conversation regarding body shaming, slut shaming, and the like. First, there was The Fappening—the crude nickname given to a massive hack and the subsequent leak of thousands of “celebrity” nude-selfies from cell phones. There was the wide scale response to the hacks, including the purposeful release of a nude photo by Kiera Knightley. The list continues with the Victoria’s Secret “Perfect Body” campaign gone awry and, of course, Kim Kardashian.

Before going much further into a bit of exposition and inevitably a diatribe of subjective commentary, let’s first define what exactly “slut shaming” and “body shaming” actually are.

Slut Shaming: A phenomenon in which people degrade or mock a woman because she enjoys having sex, has sex a lot, or may even just be rumored to participate in sexual activity. (Taken from the always reliable Urban Dictionary)

Body Shaming: Shaming someone for their body type.

The hypocrisy that exists in the public perception of sexual activity by a man versus a woman is well documented, well discussed. If I go out this weekend and sleep with five women, chances are my friends and roommates will hold a Caesar-esque parade at Casa de 23rd Street here in Boulder. Would it be the same if I had a different sexual organ between my legs? My experience says, yes it would be different. This is not to say that it’s unreasonable for people to prefer their partners to have engaged in limited sexual activity, or to find “promescuity” by either sex as cringe-worthy. As one should know, sexually active people put themselves in a position of risk when it comes to STDs, unwanted pregnancy and the like much more so than someone who isn’t sexually active—how’s that for stunning and intelligent conclusions? Many who argue in favor of slut shaming often point towards those realities as reason why the attack of such shaming is actually little more than enabling unhealthy behavior.

Likewise, attraction is about as subjective as a feeling as we experience. There have been plenty of times when I, or a friend, will come home talking about just how, “fucking sexy” that girl we danced with at the bar was. Simultaneously, whoever also went to the bar is shaking their head and swearing that, “you trippin’.” Nothing is wrong with not being attracted to someone, and anyone who tells you differently can kindly go fuck themselves. Then again, there’s the issue of health, like in slut shaming. By supporting the beauty of a morbidly obese person, are we actually enabling their unhealthy behavior in such a way that doesn’t encourage them to make changes that will have direct positive impacts on their life? Or is the only important question this: Is it any of our fucking business? In many ways it is, in others, it’s not. The societal effects of obesity go far beyond one’s own body and, eventually, into the pocket books of everyone else. One would hope, though, that were are more constructive, informative and respectable ways to go about such a discussion and approach to this issue.

When the phones and devices of numerous “celebrity” women were hacked recently, and subsequently released, it started a number of crucial discussions for present day America. First, of course, was the level of privacy we would like to have and what level of privacy we can reasonably expect in this day and age. Next, was the questioning of what sexuality means in modern day America. For that, I suggest you read this article. We began talking about how these young women who we’ve seen on everything from reality television to major blockbuster Hollywood productions weren’t so different from everyone else, after all. And some ripped them apart for it.

Allow me to make one thing clear: Jennifer Lawrence does not owe your ten-year-old daughter anything. Nothing, seriously. She doesn’t have a responsibility to be a role model for young women around the world. If she chooses to accept that role, given by idiotic and incapable parents who would encourage their kids to take such an approach to idealism, that’s her perogative. But again, she doesn’t owe me or anyone else shit. You paid $12.50 to see her movie, and she put on a performance for you…transaction completed.

But even if I were to accept some myth about her responsibility to portray a proper example for young women every where, I would still have this question: What’s so dangerous about a woman who so clearly accepts and demonstrates her sexuality? Everything, apparently.

Most important, in my opinion, was Lawrence’s response to it all. She was, rightfully so, outraged at the perpetrator of such a leak, as well at those who gave the hack an audience by browsing the hundreds of photo galleries containing her photos. She didn’t deny the pictures were hers. She didn’t cite photoshop.

“I didn’t tell you that you could look at my naked body,” she said. Bravo, Ms. Lawrence. Bravo.

I think it’s important to acknowledge something here: I’m a man, talking about female sexuality, its value, place in our society and the shaming of it. There’s just a bit of privilege from my side of things, and I understand that. Frankly, I don’t expect to be able to cut through said privilege, but hopefully start a conversation within a reader or two and see where that takes them.

Now that I got that out of the way, allow me to go on my final rant.

Every single woman I’ve ever met has something about them, something enticing both physically and intellectually. You all are indeed the fairer sex, and perpetually both enlightening and frightening. You are fucking beautiful. You’re awe-inspiringly compassionate and resourceful. The fact that you all find a way to not stab each one of us men in the eye on a daily basis should be the focus of researchers looking for proof of a merciful Creator.

Celebrate everything that you have, everything that you are. If you want to wear make up—and according to InStyle Magazine as of 2013, women spend an average of $15,000 per lifetime on the stuff—then do so with pride. Otherwise, you’re pretty damn perfect just the way y’all are already. Sleep with whom and where you please. Whether you’re eating a salad or a burger, enjoy it.

Be you, because we love each and everyone of you already.