The sky is my refuge. The clouds are my domain. The wind is my breath. The weightless leaves tumbling across the deserted wasteland of my mind; dancing gracefully to the music I no longer hear. I am incapable. Long ago I could hear the music of life. The music of family. The music of love. Seasons come. Seasons pass. My quiet and still mind remains; anticipating the possibility of hearing the music again. My efforts are in vain. People pass. People move on. People hold onto moments for no apparent reason other than that in that moment, the music of life could be heard ever so faintly.
Family, gathered around, talking, laughing, smiling, freely sharing their joy with each other. Family dispersed, silent, solemn, actively seeking ways to avoid conversation that may lead to the revealing of the weeds growing in their throats; slowly tightening their grip on their lives. Maturity sacrifices innocence. Maturity scolds ignorance. Oh sweet were the days of yellow light beaming through the window shades, pouring into my innocent imagination. The beams of endless fluorescence filled my young body with warmth and life. I now look at the colorless beams flowing through dilapidated shades, pounding my fists into the ground, wishing to be filled and cleansed by the vibrant light I no longer see. Pounding my fists into the ground, wishing for my ears to be opened to the sweet music of family that once reigned supreme in my childish thoughts.
Maturity brings poison to the innocent heart. Innocence brings life to the soul.
Ignorance knows no knowledge. Knowledge has enriched my mind, but has turned my heart cold.
September 6, 2014