A Strange Introduction

‘Hari Om’ says a calm, quiet voice as the door opens. I am surprised to see a fair skinned woman of average height dressed in ochre robes. She is barefooted. ‘Hari Om’ I say very self-consciously. The words are not strange, but I have to admit I have never wished anyone like that in a long time. Thoughts race through my mind. Why have I come here? Did I do the right thing? Who is this foreigner who is using our spiritual language to greet me? Somehow I resent it. Is it one of those ashrams that foreigners have taken charge of in India? I somehow had always hated the thought of foreigners adopting our spirituality and then dishing it back to us neatly labeled and packaged. Spirituality in a tooth paste tube. Press and it will ooze out. Press harder and more of it will ooze out.

Come in, she says very quietly. My mind quickly comes back to the present. She leads me to a table and chair. The room is bare, just like whatever I can see of the rest of the house. This is Khira Nagar in Santacruz West. I quickly think this place obviously functions like some kind of ashram, as I spy another woman in ochre robes rustling through the flat.

“Yes how can I help you”? says the quiet voice behind the ochre robe as I sit uncomfortably on the edge of my chair. She introduces herself as Swami Nityamuktananda. Swami? Nityamuktananda? Who may have named her that I think. Why do these foreigners come to Mumbai and take on these Indian names and call themselves Swami? Am I getting put off? Relax I say to myself. This is the last resort. You have to be patient, says a voice inside of me.

‘Roshan Mundkur’ sent me here I say a little reluctantly. Wish Roshan had told me they were foreigners. I might have given it a second thought and checked that well known yoga school on the eastern side of Santacruz. ‘She said you could help me’ I continue. ‘What is the problem’ she says quietly. Why is she asking me what is the problem? Do people come here only if they have a problem? I begin to realise that this is a yoga school being run quietly out of Khira Nagar by the 3 female monks. What is the problem? Yes, I need to tell her what is the problem? Should I come clean? My first response is ‘There is no problem really’ I say. She waits patiently for me to continue, with an understanding look.

‘But recently, I have been having some problems with my breathing’. The words almost stumble out of my mouth. ‘What kind of breathing problems’ she says quietly. Should I just blurt out the truth? This is my chance. I have been diagnosed with asthma I say. ‘No problem’ she says. No problem? I don’t think she quite understands the trauma I have gone through. The deriphyllin injections that I had to take to make my way to Ulka everyday. The cortisone tablets. The feeling of getting choked. Near death. Almost an injection a day. And then when the injections stopped, it would be Ok for another 2 weeks and the problem would re-cur. And the ayurvedic doc from Chembur who duped me. How would one know that an innocent looking herbal powder, the colour of coffee that worked miraculously on me would be packed with cortisone?

‘It will go’ she says confidently. I suddenly feel comforted. No one has said these words to me before. Hope. ‘How long will it take?’ I ask expectantly? ‘You should feel better in 6 months’ she says. Relief. ‘These things are all psycho-somatic’ she says. Psycho-somatic? This is 1982. And the word hasn’t entered our vocabulary as everyday language yet. What is she saying? Is something wrong with me? Is she actually accusing me of being psycho-something? Is she saying something is mentally wrong with me. My God. I wish I hadn’t come here to hear this. She interrupts my thoughts with ‘It is normal’. Oh, so being psyho is the new normal. Jesus Christ, what is all this.

Our conversation is over. I leave and she sees me off at the door with a smile. I am to see her next Monday for my first class. How should I address her I wonder? She says ‘Hari Om’. ‘ Hari Om Swamiji’. I stumble on ‘swamiji’. Why should I call some foreigner dressed as a monk in ochre robes a swamiji?

A Journey into the Unknown

Many months later I am already feeling better. My God, Swamiji Nityamuktananda has exorcised the devil of asthma out of my body. I am doing well at work. I don’t quite know how to thank Roshan Mundkur. Roshan is the wife of Bal Mundkur, who is a distant uncle. Or distant cousin. I am not quite sure because our families are quite close. His mother Kripabaiakka is always in and out of my house, quite often spending her weekends with us.

One day I am doing Surya-Namaskar at the ashram with my eyes closed. Saying the mantra. Focussing on my breath. Being aware of a different chakra with every posture of the namaskar. Suddenly I hear her say ‘ Do it dynamically’. Dynamically? Wonder what that means? Fast? Quick? Forceful? My mind races to find out the meaning of ‘dynamically’. I flex my muscles. I am doing each pose in the namaskar more quickly. I am using my strength while going down to the floor. Suddenly I hear the words ‘STOP’. ‘Lie down’ she says. I catch my breath. ‘Relax’ she says. ‘Let all the tension leave your body’. Slowly’

A few minutes later she asks me a question, a question that throws me off balance. ‘Are you in a very stressful job?’ she says. Stressful? Stupid Advertising. Of course it is stressful. You miss a deadline and you have hell to pay. You work late into the night because clients make unreasonable demands. Why do I always have to work hard because the marketing director is travelling next week? So he wants to see everything this week? Why? Is he going to give us a decision this week? No. He is going to travel, and when he gets back, he is going to take his own sweet time to tell us what he thinks of it. So why the hell does he want to see it this week? I have a good mind to tell that stupid manager, that it is not possible. Screw them. Yes, that’s exactly what I am going to do. Bal Mundkur taught us to be brave. So what am I doing getting pulverized by a nit-wit of a brand manager? I must not weaken just because I am young, married and already have a daughter. If I lose my job, I am sure I am clever enough to still look after my family.

Suddenly I am brought to the present from my half-conscious state doing yoga-nidra. Yoga-nidra is like a trip. It sometime reminds me of my LSD trips. The only difference is that I can snap back to the present reality when I want to. So my mind is still within my control. Unlike with acid.

‘Yes Swamiji’, I respond. ‘Which profession’ she asks? ‘I am in advertising’, I say hesitantly. No response. Is there a quiet disdain that I can’t hear? Wonder what she is thinking. I can’t tell with my eyes closed. I think it is time to break the silence. ‘Why?’ I ask.

And then she replies ‘Because you have got used to the idea that dynamism means tension’ she says. I have to think about this carefully. My intellectual mind is 100% alert now. What? Dynamism and tension? What made her say that? ‘Why do you say that Swamiji’ I say. ‘Because when I asked you to do the Surya Namaskar dynamically, you got all tensed up. You started using your strength. You used the pressure from your muscles.’ ‘So how do I do it?’ I ask quickly. The only answer I get is ‘You will understand, one day’.

That simple exposition on a word that I thought I knew so well, disturbed me for the next many months. The dictionary definition of dynamism is ‘a process or mechanism responsible for the development or motion of a system’. Yes, that definition did not have force or energy. Some other definitions did. How do I figure out what she really meant? And what is the meaning of I will understand one day. Which day. When? Why not now? All these questions raced through my mind.

Many months later, Swami Satyananda Saraswati of the Bihar School of Yoga accidentally steps on my feet while walking in a crowded area. Immediately Swami Nityamuktananda asks me ‘Swamiji stepped over you. Are you hurt?’. And then she laughs her characteristic laugh. ‘No in fact it was as if a feather walked over me’ I tell her. Immediately she asks ‘Do you think Swamiji is dynamic?’ ‘Very’ I reply. Do you think his dynamism is associated with force and strength?’ she says. I must admit that Swami Satayanand is dynamic without using force and energy. Is she trying me get the meaning of dynamism a few months later after I first got rattled by the concept? Later in the evening in the Ashram at Munger, Swami Niranjananada speaks for about 15 minutes on yoga and philosophy. The amazing thing is that after he finishes his speech in English, he immediately speaks the same content in Spanish and Italian. I am amazed and enthralled at the end of the 45 minutes. I say to Swami Nityamuktananda, ‘What a dynamic speaker. I was floored’. And she says ‘And did you think the dynamism had force and strength in it?’ I have to admit that surprisingly it didn’t. In fact, he never moved during the 45 minutes. He never waved his arms animatedly while speaking. I can swear that his arms were neatly tucked away under his robe and they stayed there till the end of his speech. Were there any animated facial expressions? No. Did he move even once No. Was he still dynamic? Yes.

Life’s Lessons passed on to Professional Life

It is 8 years later. I have been told there is nothing more for me to learn after being inducted into some higher, secret yogas. I am back in Mumbai. I have to make a very important presentation to S M Datta, Chairman of the then Hindustan Lever. Lever’s has asked their agencies to study one competitor each. Presentations are to be made to the Chairman and the Board. I have selected P & G. My presentation is called ‘Know the Enemy’. These are days before the internet in 1991. Before Sun Tzu was to get quoted by everybody. I have decided this is the presentation of my life. Everyone is nervous. Mike Khanna always a picture of poise is biting his nails. Anil Bhatia is making jokes nervously trying to diffuse the tension. I start the presentation. Dynamism without tension are the only words in my mind. No unnecessary body movement. Hand movements or other gestures. No facial contortions to make a point. A point can be made without all this. Control your breathing. It has to be even. It has to be relaxed. It is one of the most tedious 60 minutes of my life in the Hindustan Lever Boardroom. I finish with a quote from Sun Tzu. ‘If you know the enemy…’. There is a thundering applause.

We walk down the flights of Lever House and wait for Mike’s car in the foyer at Lever House, Backbay Reclamation. Suddenly Mike extends his hand. ‘You made me proud to belong to Thompsons today’ he says.

It’s time for a celebration.

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This piece originally appeared in the book Life Reloaded curated by Sanjeev Kotnala. He has made the kindle version is available for free during these troubled times at https://amzn.to/2WKdqVK