1N No Subject

This is a quickly written post, not meant to be a fully thought out article, just a brief explanation.

What do you say to a stranger online who just sends you a note saying ‘hi’? Just ‘hi’, or ‘how r u’. Though it may be well intentioned, there’s no thought or topic put in the original note, so now it falls on the person getting the note to even figure out how respond. Many folks have very busy lives, and don’t have the time to send multiple notes back and forth that don’t go anywhere beyond idle chatting.

Some people get angry at you for not responding, some people get their response then just continue on with endless small-talk with no topic or purpose. And many times it’s worse. Some notes lead to asking the recipient for favors, or unwanted flirting and sexual attention, or sometimes just completely inane requests or questions.

In my personal experience, 9/10 times, responding to a ‘hi’ ends up just wasting my time, or putting me in a very uncomfortable position. I’ve been asked to take awkward or suggestive photos, I’ve had people who are rude and entitled, I’ve been asked extremely personal questions that a stranger has no place asking, and sometimes I’ve just had a lot of time wasted from a person who just has NOTHING to offer towards the conversation, and continually puts the onus of carrying a conversation I didn’t start on me. Ultimately I just decided for myself, as did many others, that it’s better to flat-out ignore any such notes.

If you’re NOT someone who’d do any of the above, please, at least put some more thought and effort into the initial contact. If you want to get to know someone, be forward, get to the point. It may sound rude for me to say this, but learning how to use appropriate levels of material for the communication platform you’re using is a pretty important skill. You can say ‘hi’ in person, because there’s a few seconds between responses. When you may have days between responses, you really need to give more to reduce all the sluggish back and forth.

So that’s my 2 cents. Not meant to be an ultimate source or truth, and maybe flawed. But that’s what my personal experiences have taught me.

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