I Just Can’t Do Busy Anymore
One thing I miss about 2020 is how un-busy we were.
“Busy feels icky.” — Me, utilizing my extensive vocabulary in therapy last week.
There was a time when we were always busy. “Crazy busy.”
I don’t remember much from that time but I have my journals and personal blogs to remind me. My head spins reading through them now. How did we manage to keep up with it all?!?
I’m not sure why we did that to ourselves other than we felt like we had to. Obligations, expectations, grind and hustle culture, the need to keep going and not slow down for fear that everything might catch up with us if we did.
I’m not sure exactly when the shift happened for me but it was most certainly tied into my mental health awareness.
Because it all caught up with me, anyway.
Busy became unsustainable for me. And I didn’t want to be busy anymore but slowing down was so counter-cultural and induced such strong feelings of guilt and shame. Am I lazy? And saying no meant facing the fear of being labeled any number of things from uncooperative to antisocial to selfish and everything in between.
But, little by little, I was untangling myself from it all.
