(5) SELF-WORTH VS. THE SELF-IE/THOT-SHOTS — A FEMALE’S CONSTANT INSATIABLE HUNGER FOR APPROVAL AT HER OWN EXPENSE — aka BEAUTY TO GET LIKES” SYNDROME.
What’s up y’all! Hope ya having a great day and getting over your case of the “Mondays”🙄. I wanna say first that sitting among nature in a state of “human seclusion” creates a heightened creative mind state for me where I can get my thoughts together works wonders for the “creative juices”— pretty amazing state of mind to be honest. You should try it…a quiet park, a river, off a trail whatever. Maybe with a little music, maybe a little wine (even though I’m not on any right now) could help you bring yourself back into balance and also could create great atmosphere for you and your significant other, friend or boo thang:
Today, I want to talk about a very prevalent issue today — increasing insecurity among our women, specifically our younger generation of women and its affects on them and the world as shown thru excessive selfies and “likes”. Now to be fair, we all know the younger generation is kinda fucked up and lost in some ways (not all bad), and I’ll probably say how I feel for the guys soon (actually I just did a post about men and touched on what eats at the male psyche — this is what I believe eats at a female’s psyche) but for now, it’s ladies up and I think a woman’s need to feel wanted exceeds a man’s under baseline conditions — just think about how much time a woman spends getting ready lol. So yea, that’s my reasoning. Men and women are just different, there’s no denying that.
I’m all for empowering people and because I am I must say this: I’m really concerned about the younger female generation — younger generation period but specifically the young women. So much potential overlooked and untapped. The “body generated” likes definitely seem to outweigh the talent-generated goals and success it seems. From my view it seems that a lot of women would rather be told they are beautiful rather than to be respected based on their actions — on actions commonly known as “Instagram thots”:
Now I’m not saying it doesn’t look good, because I am a heterosexual, healthy male (😂😂) but what concerns me is the self esteem of these women and the “thirst” for attention. Hey, call me a peace of shit for looking at a few of these videos because hey, I love ass — sorry lol. But my respect for women still leaves me with the conclusion that it’s sad that it seems that all she thinks she has to offer is her body, even if this is not true — especially when women want to be viewed not just as “sex objects” at the core. Now men and women love sex (don’t get it twisted) but this confuses the HELL outta men and myself — what we see isn’t necessarily what we get in person. Call me judgmental, but I can’t go around not ignoring observations. Women like this are an instant turnoff to me NOT because I think she’s a whore (because photos don’t necessarily mean she’s promiscuous) but because I think about what she spends her time doing and who she gives her attention to. If she is more concerned with giving her attention too much elsewhere rather than her man, it’s not gonna work. I ain’t saying I need all the attention but attention and interest level go almost hand in hand:
It’s like what you show the world is what they will see. Now another thing…what you do behind closed doors is your business (everyone has needs😏😎😛) but don’t start all of a sudden “respecting yourself” in person when men have already formulated an opinion based off of all of your “Social media ass shots”. That shit blows me. And I don’t even know if dat ass is real anyways the way you can buy so much stuff nowadays😂😂. I prefer natural:
I take great pride in my body (I’m a firm believer that if you look good, you feel good and that you need to respect your body — its the only one you have🙌🏾) and there’s nothing wrong with showing it off and being proud of it. That being said, for women (most of who do not want to be treated as a “piece of meat” from what I’ve been hearing while dating and conversation) there seems to be a discrepancy between these excessive “thot” pics and the notion of being a piece of meat. Hell, if you can twerk on me and dance that’s cool but coming across as a being a woman who only has that to offer is not very attractive to me. I don’t even mind a few butt pics, but if over 50% of your pics are body pics/butt selfies, I’m concerned. And selfies aren’t bad, it’s the “beauty to get likes” syndrome which I think destroys women’s self-esteem. I’ve talked to enough people to know I’m not alone with this, so we’ve all seen it, particularly among the younger women, even tho it filters up generations at times. Maybe some pics of your friends? Maybe something you found interesting in the world? The body pics/butt shots are very similar to a stripper, to be honest (not putting down strippers — make your money boo boo) but if you don’t want to be put in that boat, realize that you’re shaking your ass and showing your body for likes…just as a stripper does for “ones” — hey, at least the stripper gets paid for it lol.
Now I look at men doing the same thing and I’ve been known to post a few body pics in my day and that’s kinda when it dawned on me the difference between “thirst” and self-improvement. I always tried to keep it more about the goal than the approval — that’s the key and people can tell the difference. Again, let’s keep frequency and self-esteem in mind which I’ll touch on that more in a second. The true test is internal — how you feel about yourself if you get no likes or less likes than you did yesterday — and only you can check yourself for that. Again, there’s nothing wrong with taking sexy pictures to “feel yourself” — again, go ahead lil mama but keep in mind why you’re doing what you’re doing.
The other issue is the outside factors of “likes” can contribute SO much to deflating a woman’s overall self-esteem (via the all encompassing “beauty to get likes” syndrome — which is the huge umbrella this is all under) even if it is great temporarily because she’ll get to the point where she’ll get addicted to the “likes”. Believe in yourself, be happy with who you are, regardless of approval, and don’t be thirsty ladies, you’re better than that! You’re worth more than that!
I have a little sister, 19, — I tell her this myself. I see it filtering into older generations of women too whom I date.
MESSAGE: We gotta teach these girls/women that their bodies ain’t all its about and that their contributions to society, goals and purpose matters just as much to their self-worth.
A woman who excessively shows off her body for likes is a turn-off to me. Thats not a confident woman to me. Mm…theres something a woman who is intelligent and just KNOWS who she is, (good and bad) boy I tell ya…If a woman seeks excessive outside approval when she’s dating a man, what do you think will happen when she marries the guy? And the funny thing is, men know this so some men use “likes” as a way to simulate interest — and it works. It’s like each press of the button gives a “packet” of self-worth when every human being already has worth.
Mix that with the “like addiction” and we have a virtual potion that is more potent than crack itself. The need for approval is getting out of hand — seriously. We are letting so many things that don’t matter push out the things that matter — and I know you see it too (even outside of the “female body” thing). I’m sick and tired of seeing women box themselves in by excessive selfies, as if a selfie and “likes” are the equivalent to food, water and shelter — when deep inside its actually destroying your confidence because if you go from 60 likes to 20 likes, you’re going to feel terrible. It has completely the opposite effect of what you want, don’t you see that? I have seen a lot of women who look super confident in pictures and when I meet them in person they have low self-esteem — and I wonder why? And these are good women too. I kinda use them as a barometer of knowing that it does erode women down slowly.
Oh yea, it’s true. It’s hurting our interactions with one another (male-female and female-female) and creating friction over nothing due to this little hidden thing called “competition”. No one competes with looks like women lol. I’ve seen 2 good looking women walk by each other and say other their breaths “bitch…” lmao! That shit sent me on a loop and into a whirl of laughter — I just didn’t understand it.
We gotta focus more on what actually matters — like learning about the world around us, or having better relationships with our families and kids because we all could use work in that department — myself included. We are letting so many things isolate us from one another and damage the way we feel about ourselves. Personally, what makes me feel good is the fact that I am trying to do what I love and make a difference — not just get attention and so many others like you are. I like to think that my voice encourages some type of social change — that’s the activist in me and writing is one of my many passions. Even if I don’t get one single “like”, I know that someone will feel what I’m saying (because I know what I see, trust my intuition, have conversed with people and see the consequences) and that this is a problem and maybe we can work on a solution together — that’s more important than receiving credit for a post.
There is not much more attractive to me than a woman who can have her own opinion, her own purpose (not necessarily money — but something that she is passionate about and working towards) and who can hold an intelligent conversation — I don’t care how “bad” she is. I ask women: what are you passionate about? I’m not one to shit on people’s dreams but at a certain point, you should be working towards something you’re passionate about and not focusing on “attention and likes”. Don’t get me wrong, I like to post memes and such and funny stuff but be careful to not let the nonsense keep you from your passion and your purpose. Now, I like attractive women, but well rounded chicks win in this world with me — not “selfie queens”/Instagram thots who have nothing to offer the world. And for that reason, I don’t feel that a lot of these females out are something I’m looking forward to being with long-term.
Ladies, be confident, be you, be intelligent and most of all know that you have self worth regardless of outside factors and that it’s imperative to respect yourself. Only then will you attract the fulfillment of life, better family success and people into your life who will change it for the better. I’m the words of pimp C from the land of the “trill” (true and real — RIP homie)— ”that’s just how I FEEEEEEL” lol.
Aight y’all Peace. Keep it trill now, ya here?