Acceptance: willingness to tolerate a difficult situation and the process or fact of being received as adequate, valid, or suitable

Well today is the day. I just received my notice. I am officially bankrupt. As I sit here trying to gauge my feelings I realise I’m not feeling the way I thought I would. I believed I would be relieved and ready to start afresh. What I actually feel is upset, exhausted and down. Filing the paperwork was one thing, actually getting notice that it’s done, opens a whole new array of emotions. Shit, this sucks.

But…this is all about acceptance. Can I just have a day off today? Can I give myself a break and do something loving for myself? Is it entirely possible that I can not try to find a way to make money? Can I spend the day not beating myself up? I’m not sure, but I’m going to try.

It’s now 3 days later and I have succumbed or accepted the situation. It’s done and now it’s time to move forward. I have a warm home, food in my fridge, a part time job working my arse off in an unbearably hot kitchen as a short order cook (how the mighty have fallen!) and I’m getting really fit running after buses and walking miles to work each day. See, there’s always a silver lining. Ha!

I may not have a car but then I also don’t have to worry about fuel, insurance, registration and loan repayments. Is it an inconvenience? Hell yeah. Is it the worse thing that could happen to me? No way.

So it comes to true acceptance and happiness in my ‘now’, my present moment. I am now using this time to re-build and focus on what it is I truly desire and how I am making it happen…. Totally broke, car re-possessed and bankrupt yet still creating a social enterprise. Yep, that works for me. Only by concentrating on what I am producing, can I feel positive. Only by setting myself this almighty goal am I able to smile. Somewhere deep inside, nestled warmly in my being, I know this is my purpose and I cannot, will not be swayed. As my sister says — onwards and upwards. Sounds good to me.