“It is wrong to pee on man, That is what women are for.”- Ghandi
So today my bus broke down and since I was waiting for inspiration to write another blog I’d decided to write about how I got a slight sprain in my foot. Before I start my story I’d like to thank everybody that’s been reading my Blogs and leave your very kind comments. Just yesterday someone left a comment saying “You’re a fat pathetic slob, just like your mother”. (thanks mom) Very motivating words that inspire me. You guys are the people that just keep me going and maybe with help of more people I can finally reach my goal, 2 views…
So my story begins when I wake up in the 12th of may, 5 am, in bed. I get up and take my clothes off to take a shower, eat breakfast, brush my teeth, comb my hair, say hi to my loving neighbors who always seem disgusted at me for some odd reason. So continuing on with my morning routine, I water the plastic plants, feed my pet sister, turn off all the lights, pack my bag and finally I put my clothes on before getting on the bus to go to school.
So on the bus my friend tells me about his dead carrot. He invites me to his carrot’s funeral but I’m like nah. He asked why and I responded “cause”. So after that wonderful conversation I go to sleep and wake up a few seconds before I arrive in school. So disappointing. Had such a nice dream.
As some retarded spanish kid was talking to me all I could think about was what my dream was. All I could remember was just something green and a harsh voice. I just thought whatevs, It’ll come back to me sooner or later. So I went to my first class of the day, english class. It was nice to start off the day with a nice simple class. Today we learnt to treat the Jews like a high school track, for they are just a stupid race.
After three classes I had my worst subject in the world. Spanish class. I hate spanish with such a passion I’d rather have a 45 minute class dedicated to Morgan Freeman giving me detailed lessons, with a pratical once a week, about how to masturbate. But after 45 minutes of torture, I survived. It wasn’t easy though. At a certain point I felt like a the doctor of a Kenyan track team, my patience ran thin. Nonetheless, I survived.
So now it was break time and I remembered a bit more of my dream. I remember green and orange and a simple shape I couldn’t describe. Then I just remembered a white flash and that’s it. The bell rang and I had to go to class. Next up, homeless studies. I mean theory of knowledge (ToK). Damn autocorrect…
So this class was decent for a ToK class and went by considerably fast and I was happy about it but then I got a phone call. I picked it up and there was a very familiar voice who spoke. It was the voice in my dream. I asked who he was. He called me sexist for jumping to the conclusion that I thought he was a man. I called him racist as an act of self defense. So then he talked about stuff that seemed important but I have a tendency of ignoring people who do such things, especially if they are females. That’s why I never pay attention in english class, business class, math class, computer science and pretty much every class except spanish. I just don’t pay attention to my spanish teacher because I’m to busy thinking of tiramisu during her class.
So then the dude hung up and I was wondering what he said but then the hueva came over me so I thought I’ll remember it later, or just forget. So next class I had was computer science class. This class was very very ok. I had my daily dose of happy wheels and then this was the class I decided to right a blog about my sprained foot. So after that class I had PE, The last class of the day.
We had soccer and this was exciting for my class but I was too tired to really participate so I decided to be goal keeper. I though what’s the worst that could happen. All I have to do is stand there and prevent the ball going in the goal. Easy. After three games I was getting tired making me want to go buy something from the Tuck Shop. So I leave the game to buy stuff and then it happened. I could have been easily avoidable, just like Hitler’s contraception. But it wasn’t and there were consequences to pay.
Time slew down as I looked behind me and saw nothing. Then I look down before getting struck in the shin. I collapsed. I look up and see an orange figure with a green top. The figure in my dreams. I was petrified for it was a carrot. How could I have not known. The carrot started to speak but like usual whenever something seems important I just ignore it. This seemed important enough.
I went into a daydream where I was riding a hippo on a rainbow with multicolored clouds. It was nice but then the Carrot slapped me and kept rambling on about some carrot that passed away and how I refused to go to his funeral. I don’t know why he was mad about it. So I asked why and he just gave me a menacing stare. He said nothing. I asked “bro why do I have to go the funeral?” he asked me to repeat myself. So I did. Then he asked me what I called him. I called him nothing at all. I just asked a simple question. Then he went on a tantrum about how I was sexist for thinking he was a guy even though he clearly had a mans voice. So I asked if he was. Apparently the carrot was a she carrot. Who would have known. I guess that’s why I never payed attention to her. In my defense I never payed attention to her pink skirt and high heels that much. I just assumed it was what fashion has come to. She then pulled a gun on me and said this was then end. I was sad because I knew I would die like the rest of my people, hungry.
But then out of no where there was a source of strong light. My eyes were blinded as if it was a flash bang. I hear a single gunshot and then I open my eyes. I found the source of light. it was the whitest kid that I Have ever seen. he was white than Mitt Romney in a snow storm. The carrot was gone and the kid was playing soccer and then I got up and though I could eat. So I eat n stuff and life was good. So the bell rang and and school was over. I go to my bus and sit down in relief. My friend invited me to another funeral cause his carrot’s friend died due to some natural cause. I said nah. he asked why. I responded cause. I decided to sleep.
I wake up to a sudden abrupt stop. The bus broke down and I though “Well shoot.” I get up to stretch and out of no where the source of light comes back and he kicks my foot with all his might, causing it to sprain. So that’s how I sprained my foot.