This Album Helped Me Deal With Heartbreak

I’m not even sure if what I felt was heartbreak. The hard guy in me may be fighting against simply admitting or maybe it’s cos I’m talking about an attraction I had while I was in secondary (high) school and I feel it doesn’t count for much. But I felt something strong for her. Did someone say infatuation?
I was maybe 14 when this attraction started. We were classmates the previous school year — my last year of junior school, and I wasn’t even a big fan. I disliked her. Looking back it reminds me of the cliche that boys & girls feign hatred when they like each other. But that wasn’t the case with me, I legit disliked her and I had my eyes on another classmate even. I thought I disliked her. I like to think from a young age it has been my emo not to fake anything. If I feel something, I act it out. Something I feel I must have picked from my parents; my father especially. But towards the end of that school year, in a class party thing we had a classmate called us (me) out on the strife between us which was uncalled for. I disliked her for no reason and I ensured I was hostile to her every chance I got. I was an asshole. I realized it and decided to be better. At the end of the school year, we exchanged numbers and texted each other at intervals during that summer. She was friends with the girl I actually had my eyes on so I thought with our new found friendship she could be a strong link to winning ‘dream’ girl. (I was making progress by the way, dream girl already told me she liked me). But I was wrong. Remember, I thought I disliked her but by happenings I still can’t pinpoint or explain she became my love interest throughout senior secondary. Now I’m thinking to myself maybe the saying that (little) boys & girls initially feign hatred when they like each other might be true after all.
Fast forward to the last few months of high school, it was a period of making life changing decisions that would have seen you part ways from people you saw for the greater part of 6 whole years. I braced myself for this, but it wasn’t dreamy to think we could end up going to the same unis either, so I was opened to starting something more solid too. We ended up going to the same school and no we didn’t date. It ended few days to what I would call a prom we had in my school. I’m not going to lie, it hurt, I felt it coming but when it happened, it still hurt. Breakups suck, ending up in the same school sucked even more, but I couldn’t help it. Seeing each other was mostly awkward and among our new mates news spread quick that we were a ‘thing’ in high school. I wasn’t ashamed to answer but the rate at which I got asked the “is it true you and…” question was very disturbing. But since I felt it coming, I was better prepared and snapped out of the phase quicker. From a young age, music has been one of my coping mechanisms. During the early stages of my emotional recovery, Trey Songz’ Ready was one album I really listened to. Weirdly, I imagine you think listening to R&B should make one hurt more but for me it was different. When I listened to Songz sing of love (with a lot of sensuality), the more I felt assured I had something better to look forward to romantically.
On this album Trey Songz rarely takes a wrong turn. He placed himself in the top-tier of R&B as it earned him a Grammy Award nomination for Best Contemporary R&B album at the 52nd Grammy awards which he lost to Beyonce Knowles I Am… Sasha Fierce. It houses some of the best music he ever made in his career: Say Aah is an ear-catching and compelling song that still sounds as relevant today as it did 9 years ago, the Drake featured Successful was an early testament to the duo’s hunger to reach the pinnacle of their careers. He religiously sings about sensuality on Neighbors Know My Name & I Invented Sex. Be Where You Are & Yo Side Of The Bed brilliant black pop numbers that marked Trey’s development as a vocalist as he judiciously used his falsetto. One Love & Black Roses are both set to vibrant quasi-electronic production. He demands assurance from his love interest on the former while the latter is an ode to a dying love.
The 9th anniversary of its release was on August 31st and this post is to acknowledge how much Trey’s music helped me in a difficult time. Oh and also, if you haven’t listened to this album, it’s absolutely worth checking out.
