Competing for College
JP Habeeb
21

“Are you a POC?”

“No”

“Are you transgender?”

“No”

“Are you gay?”

“No”

“Are you a woman?”

“No”

“Are you below the poverty line?”

“No”

“Do you have any debilitating physical disability, such as blindness or deafness?”

“No”

“Well then why the hell should we accept you?”

“I mean, I write ok, and I can play musical instruments pretty well, and I swim pretty fast”

“No, ok, fuck you. There’s a transgender black lesbian dwarf in a wheelchair over there who trains hamsters to ride unicycles. You’ve had it too good for too long. Fuck you. Go to community college and deal with your white privilege, you straight white male cis scum”

“This is community college”

“Well… fuck off anyway. Go work at a gas station and stop oppressing me”

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