Making of Dunkirk — Announcement

*Cold Open*

Warner Bros studio head: Chris, I need Dunkirk trailer next month.

Nolan: No way, we are not ready.

WB head: There is massive fan pressure, they want to see something about Dunkirk. Give me at least a minute long teaser which can played in cinemas.

Nolan: Okay. *smiles*

*In editing room*

Nolan: Pull out some footage of war scenes, I’ll choose which one to put it in the teaser.

Editor: Vfx work is not done, we don’t have those, Chris.

Nolan: Give me any clip where hundreds of soldiers are there.

Editor: We have this 15 seconds clip where hundreds of them are standing and a warplane….

Nolan: Great! That’s our teaser. Add couple of random wide shots to show it’s massive film and Zimmer’s score to pump up the tension but don’t show the warplane.

Editor: But that’s obviou..

Nolan: Goddammit! I know my fans, they will convince others that it is a monster from middle earth or an alien or Batman or whatever.

Editor: Done but couldn’t make it one minute long.

Nolan: Add some text about how surviving is victory when you are dying.

Editor: That’s bullcrap.

Nolan: I know, don’t worry. I trust my fans, just make sure that the text is little less obvious than what I said.

Editor: Done, still it’s not one minute.

Nolan: Tell them whose film is this and make sure you tell them what I’ve done in the past.

Editor: But they are looking forward to this teaser because they know who you are.

Nolan: Just do it.

Editor: Done, we are ready.

Nolan: Jesus fucking Christ! Don’t add the entire filmography. My fans are smart, they will see through this scam if you do that, they watch my films very closely. Just put last three films and instead of TDKR, use TDK trilogy because you know the whole goodwill of that trilogy is built on TDK and it’s embarrassing to use TDKR and not TDK…. Anyway, let’s move on.

Editor: Done!

*Nolan turns to WB Studio Head*

Nolan: Take that and please call it as Announcement and not Teaser.

*WB releases the teaser with Suicide Squad*

Everyone around the world gets goosebumps watching the teaser which shows nothing.

*In WB Studio*

Studio Head: I didn’t get why you insisted on calling it as an announcement.

Nolan: I deduced that Suicide Squad is not doing well in trial screenings when you came to me for Dunkirk trailer. You just wanted to make an ‘announcement’ that my trailer is attached with Suicide Squad. So that people at least to watch my trailer, come to Suicide Squad shows. You never wanted my trailer, did you?

*Nolan gives smug smile and sips coffee*

*Cut to black*

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