A StartUp Christmas

By no means are the following events accurate, this was written in line with the Christmas Spirit and me trying to be funny. Enjoy.

Narrator: Our story starts with a very heavy Mary and her husband (read slave), Joseph traveling to Bethlehem (read Yaba) to be counted.

I really don’t see why we had to leave Nazareth, to come down here just to be counted. Tell me again, why is this important?, said Mary who was looking annoyed. Joseph, who was currently battling with their luggages and losing, answered “Mary, like I told you, the guys on Nairaland said this is important. Moreover, we’ll be starting a new family, and I would like us to be registered as a family.” Mary nodding her head and chewing on a fruit, “I hear you, it’s just that the journey here hasn’t been particularly short. I’m a pregnant woman who could be in labour anytime soon, but here I am stressing myself out.” This is evident, as Mary can be seen putting in a lot of effort,trying to finish the basket of fruits she had with her, courtesy of GingerBox.

“Yes, I can seee that clearly” grumbled Joseph. Joseph loved Mary, but sometimes, he could swear she was being lazy on purpose. He understood that, she was carrying a baby and not just a baby, the HOLIEST of the babies, so for that he gave her a bit of a leeway. “Although I did enjoy the rides from Uber and Easy Taxi , it was quite easy” added Mary with a smile. They had taken two cars over the course of their journey and they booked their rides from both of the online car hire service from their SOLO smartphones. “Well, thanks to Elizabeth and Zechariah who gave us their vouchers, they decided that the holy baby ride with style, and that he did” If that didn’t happen, they’d have to share kabu kabu with other passengers. Can you imagine.

“So what did you decide about the new job? We do need the extra cash, with the new baby and all”, a twitching Mary asked. Joseph was still calling baby Jesus, the Holy Baby, which was getting on her nerves. “I already created a profile on Jobberman and submitted some letters, I hope I get a response and if I don’t, I hear Carpentry is appealing these days”

Mary rolled her eyes “Okay, but I can’t believe you didn’t do anything about accommodation, did you expect us to stay in an inn or God forbid, a manger.” Joseph just ignored her. “You could have used Hotels.ng or Jovago for booking an hotel, but noooo, you just had to forget!”

Narrator: upon getting to an hotel, Joseph finds out that there are no available rooms and even nearby hotels were reserved which in turn prompted Mary to give him a I-told-you-so-look and at that moment this happens:

A loud splash was heard and Mary looked at Joseph and started panicking and muttering, “I can’t believe this is happening, not now of all times, Holy baby, please can you stay in for some time”

Joseph, as cool as a cucumber started packing their bags and added “Well, there’s no need to panic, I heard of an incubator down at Herbert Macaulay and I’m sure they would welcome us” Mary just looked at him incredulously and said “You idiot, Cc-Hub is an incubator, Yes, but in that sense, how many times I’ve i told you not to take everything literally?” “Haha, I’m not counting but the last time you told me was when I tried to buy a well from konga.comJoseph replied trying not to look Mary in the eyes. Thank God, I didn’t mention 440NG and their acceleration program.

Narrator: At this point, there was confusion, this leads the hotel attendant to tell Joseph that, if they had no place to stay, they could stay in the manger of the Hotels’s Stables as their horses were out already. I know it doesn’t make sense that hotels have stables. Just stick to it. It’s for the story’s sake.
Anyways, we all know the story, Mary gives birth to our Lord and savior, baby Jesus and everyone celebrates his birth and the three wise men present their gifts to baby Jesus; Gold, Frankincense, Myrrh, a N50000 voucher for both Konga, Jumia and Suregift, 2 years subscription on iROKOTV, and an Uber voucher.

Happy Holidays!