FINDING YOURSELF, LOSING YOURSELF, FINDING YOURSELF…

CONTRADICTION:

Life is one big contradiction, one can always argue multiple viewpoints of a certain matter, topic, or situation. That is why it is important to establish identity in our lifetime, otherwise, we may be headed down a path of unsureness, confusion, incertitude, and uncertainty. Now I’m not saying everything in life should be premeditated and scheduled, for that is exactly the opposite of how I believe life is suppose to be (call me a hopeless romantic). You wouldn’t usually walk in to a restaurant and not look at the menu unless it was your favorite restaurant that you’ve eaten at since the manager was just a server. Anyway, contradiction will have you going through an endless obstacle course if you do not fight it and make it your bestfriend.

FINDING YOURSELF:

No longer does petty matters irk the living soul out of you (that guy that honks at you on the road for no apparent reason, losing something that can be replaced, chores)

No longer do you have the most difficult time stepping up to the plate and addressing issues you need to manage (parent problems, friend problems, school problems)

No longer do you feel that your courage and confidence is subpar (you’re not afraid to initiate conversations nor are you afraid to be thrown into any, at this point you go get that girl/guy)

No longer is the purpose of your self-being shrouded (you have direction and drive)

No longer will you be scared (except for spiders and unknown sea creatures of the deep and 1970 clowns)

No longer will a spec of negative energy enthrall you (no shred of doubt pulses through your blood, everything will go as you envision it, at this point you can pretty much light up an entire city with your energy)

It took me 23 years of my life to discover all of these majestic elements and fuse them all together in tandem. And every single second/minute/hour finding them was well worth it. Like most people in their 20’s I felt invincible but not in a cocky way or egocentric way, but in a peaceful way. No king, no pharaoh, no CEO, no billionaire, no millionaire, no actress/actor (except for Angelina Jolie), no thousandniare, no painful-past experiences would have been able to compromise my new found happiness with myself. Then…

LOSING YOURSELF

Petty matters will irk the living soul out of you (paying bills will be hell)

You will have the most difficult time stepping up to the plate to address issues of concerns (you will postpone or procrastinate matters of importance)

Your courage and confidence will be debilitated (forget about that girl/guy)

The purpose of your self-being will become hazy and unclear (this aspect of losing yourself will have you asking unnecessary questions in your head every single second)

You will be scared (you’ll be timid to act)

Negative energy will envelop you (you will doubt yourself, everything you expect to happen will not manifest to what you wanted)

It doesn’t take much to lose yourself and the reason behind it may even be the most minute of circumstances. Mine started at a “Full-Moon Intersection” (more on that later). Life can be our bestfriend or our worst enemy, lately, she’s been my worst enemy. I can’t begin to list/describe the bricks being piled on top of me, but I hope this post will serve as a warning so the next person does not have to endure a downward spiral so drastic.

FINDING YOURSELF

I’ve been losing myself since I was 23 years old, I am now about to be 25 in a few months. Everyday since my catalyst, I’ve questioned myself in every decision; I’ve been scared and intimidated; and a negative aura has followed me around like a rain cloud. But despite all the bricks being thrown at me, I’ve managed to catch some of them so I can put them towards building the strongest version of myself. I don’t know if it’s the excitement of graduating hygiene school soon, knowing “California”, or the Nutella crepe I just ate, but I’ve never felt so much more empowered in my life. I haven’t quite reached that level I once had, but I don’t want to. I want to excel that person I once was to an untouched, unfathomable version that will never plateau.

When you lose yourself, find a version of yourself you believe in again and make sure you hold on to that person and nourish them.

When you lose yourself, you better start doing everything like a beast until you find yourself again.

When you lose yourself, you make sure the next version of yourself is 1 bajillion times better than your last.

When you lose yourself, that’s when you become the strongest version of yourself.

“Life should always be progressive, never regressive” — YouGotBit—