Giant Douche VS Turd Sandwich

Recently we started a poll asking who should be president of the United States, the options we gave were “Giant Douche” and “Turd Sandwich”

In 2004 South Park aired an episode where the children from South Park Elementary had to choose a new mascot. After the candidates were announced they decided to not read the list of candidates and write in Giant Douche or Turd Sandwich. Kyle rallies his friends to fill in the giant douche, and Cartman gathers support for the turd sandwich. The result is that the two joke candidates get the most votes and the students must choose between the two in an election. Stan doesn’t see the point and thinks they are both the same, resulting in the entire school to bully him into picking a candidate.

While neither of the candidates “Turd Sandwich” or “Giant Douche” were an identifier for either candidate, people wanted a way to identify to the needs of their candidate, even though neither of the selections represented anything. Others wrote in third party candidates like Cthulhu and Giant Meteor, but we all know third party candidates have no chance in a two party system.

With a choice between a corrupt politician and a treacherous business tycoon, we feel as if voting does not matter. The very fact people feel the need to vote for “a lesser of two evils” means the system needs to change drastically. People should never even have to contemplate voting for any type of evil. This is why, out of principle, we haven’t endorsed a candidate, and we never will.

If you feel you have an obligation to vote because you believe it is in the best interests of your nation, we won’t tell you what to do. What we are concerned about is the false representation that you actually believe you have a democratic voice. You do not.

Your vote counts as much in reality as it did in our vote, it represents nothing.