See, I don’t know if I’ll ever be like the second son.
I was brought up to do exactly what I was told, don’t ask questions, don’t go nosing around, just “do what I say” and that’s it.
I have never been comfortable initiating conversations. I am afraid to interrupt others, or to bother them with my presence. This is why I don’t like making phone calls, sending text messages, or even emailing people. They time they spend interacting with me is time that they can spend with people they like doing the things they’d rather do.
I wish I knew how to break this habit, but it’s pretty deeply ingrained. I feel legitimately uncomfortable when it come to “overstepping my bounds”. I feel nervous about doing more than I was asked to — because “who asked you to do that? — I keep imagining that question.
“Oh, you thought that was a good idea? You thought wrong.”
That is pretty much the soundtrack of my childhood. And my adulthood hasn’t done much to disabuse me of that notion.