
MASCULINITY & THE MATRIX
Do you cringe at the mention of New Age terms like “Sacred Feminine” and “Sacred Masculine”? It’s understandable. Even the idea of “energy” seems vague and suspicious, despite our rational acceptance of forces, waves, and vibrations in a scientific context.
But just for fun, try to forget what you think you know about hippie talk and consider these terms with fresh eyes. “Masculine” and “feminine” are loaded words, so you’ll have to detach them from ideas about sex, gender, and orientation. For now, just think of them opposites, like a positive and negative charge. In fact, you can even replace the words themselves with abstract symbols to keep associations from climbing back in.
I humbly suggest: 1 and 0.
Masculine and Feminine energies should be thought of as the one and zero of reality’s binary code: together, they make up absolutely everything; without each other they are meaningless.
For simplicity’s sake, let’s table all the juicy paradox that comes with opposites and define these energies thusly: the Masculine as being; the Feminine as becoming. A little abstract, I know. Think of it this way, for matter to exist it must have substance and shape. The Masculine is the substance itself, the Feminine is the force that shapes it, or the process of taking shape. One endures, the other evolves. (Just don’t get too attached to those labels, because as I said — paradox abounds!)
Who’s The Man?
Right now the world — including our governments, schools, habitats and families — is dominated by an unstable masculinity called patriarchy. Patriarchy is often oversimplified as the oppression of women by men, and while this does occur under patriarchy, I find this characterization superficial.
Patriarchy is a system of forced order, the goal of which is self-expansion. It’s a particular strategy for civilization that prizes design above discovery, by way of eliminating risk (mystery) and chaos (freedom) — in other words, by suppressing the spontaneous, dynamic qualities of the Feminine.
Because patriarchy is an imbalance, it is unnatural, and because it is unnatural it must be artificially enforced through violence or the threat of violence. (This is why aggression is so commonly confused for masculinity.) Though men usually carry out the external enforcement of patriarchy, both men and women enforce it internally through their idealization of control.
A healthy Masculinity is a secure Masculinity.
What makes an energy truly dangerous is when it doubts its own role in creation and begins to overcompensate for that doubt. If the Masculine feels safe and valued, it accepts and asserts itself fully while holding space for the complimentary role of the Feminine. The Feminine is not experienced as a rival, but as a wondrous and equal “soul mate”.
The cosmic dare of achieving balance between these two forces is then experienced as a flirtation rather than a war. And while violence, aggression, and deception are traits of nature that always play some part in co-creation, they need not be the mechanisms of self-government.
Strength beyond force.
If violence and aggression are not in fact the essence of the Masculine (but are only its defense mechanisms), what is?
When expressed from a sense of worthiness and respect for the Feminine, the Masculine manifests vital traits such as self-knowledge, confidence, memory, conscious thought, collaboration, follow-through, steadfastness, alertness, gratitude, and generosity (the provider instinct).
Without such faith, these very gifts become narcissism, arrogance, dogmatism, psychopathy, tyranny, obsession, fascism, defensiveness, entitlement and greed. Sound familiar? Our collective Wounded Masculine is running the show — and its human avatar is running the country!
Laying down the arms.
As with all healing, to address the Wounded Masculine in the world we must start with ourselves. Consider, do you…
· feel threatened by the space that others take up?
· withhold your greatness because you don’t trust it will be appreciated?
· avoid intimacy because you doubt you’ll measure up?
· cling to your views because you associate change with failure?
· seize or hoard good things because you suspect they won’t otherwise find you?
These are the beliefs that weaponize the Masculine. The time has come to soothe our inner soldier and call him home. Assure your Masculine energy that it is valid, it is welcome, and it is capable of patiently attending to the emergence of our better selves. Like a sculptor’s clay, it can and indeed must make itself both firm and pliant. It can and indeed must master the bittersweet art of holding on while letting go, of striding that high wire of shared existence, for our own sake and that of all future generations.
Zaeli is, among many other things, a writer, parent, and flow coach. Learn more at www.ZAELI.net.
A version of this article originally appeared in the June 2016 issue of Austin All Natural Magazine.
