Schedule a “Meeting With Self”
Are you committed to checking in with yourself and catching up with your own news?
Goalsetting…..for yourself
This topic has been pondering in my drafts for a long period. Yep — full disclosure — I’ve left continuously checking in with my goalsetting & achieving progress behind a bit — I’ve told myself it’s due to work, travel, life priorities that always seem to get priority…..over “meeting with myself”. It was the #TwitterSmarter TwitterChat with the wonderful and successful coach Debra Eckerling and the community chipping in their experience and tips — that made me spur right back into action. If you wish to go through chat, you can read the full chat recap here.
Goalsetting for yourself — either business, personal and mix of both — does not only get you from point A to point B. It helps you get clear about your strategy, goals, bigger vision, and also offers steps and means for getting “there” and embracing the path to “there”. There are different methods for setting and achieving your goals, perhaps best known is the method of setting S.M.A.R.T. goals, entailing these important factors:
S = Specific (oriented here and now and situations, patterns I can control, are in my power to change),
M = Measurable (set in the way I know what I’m measuring and I know how it feels, looks like and what it means to me when I achieve a “goal”),
A = Attractive, or As If formulated (as if it’s already my reality — always positively formulated),
R = Real(istic) or in the realm of my possibilities,
T = timing or timely (there’s an exact and specific timeline defined; omitting one day, someday, in the future, when I have time, etc.).
The process of setting goals is a skill that should be taught and learnt from an early age on. It’s a mindful way of mapping your next steps, your future projects, career, even personal milestones you’d like to achieve. It’s a way to learn to “design” and visualize your life, from the smallest to the biggest pictures you’d like to see. It’s a simple and effective process that helps you to discover your future, wishes, wants, values and vision(s).
As an entrepreneur and NLP coach I’ve come to find out that Goalsetting and Self-Discovery through different means and ways of scheduling “meeting with (your)-self” can have a big impact on how you: view your personal development, your business development and values, aspirations and motivation that support your path, your focus and how/if you follow through. More importantly, finding your unique process and perfect balance between challenges and skills (let’s call them internal sources of powers we all have) make us be/act/present ourselves congruently. It also offers the answer to WHY some goals / actions / work are important to us and how my actions impact more than just myself, but the whole network around me (in a positive or negative way).
Schedule a “meeting with self”
Some call it self-care, some mindfulness meditation, other breathing and some sitting in silence for certain amount of time.
Whatever the method or way you spend time with yourself, it matters most when you mindfully take and schedule time with yourself, like you schedule doctor’s visits or regular check-ups or any other regular activities. It’s about the combination of training your brain to learn new behaviours and consistency of your actions. The more consistent we are in catching up on our own news, the more you can be in synch with our feelings, actions and triggers when they occur and recall patterns and behaviours (wanted or unwanted).
👉 Check in with yourself.
Take time to just let your thoughts and feelings flow. In all honesty — it can be terrifying at times — the mind can be so restless, it just bombs you with overflow of thoughts. When you practice observing your thoughts, feelings and emotions and not engaging them, solely acknowledging them and letting them go — it’s an amazing feeling. You can literally start to see “dramas, emotional baggage” come and go.
If you’re interested in learning more about mindfulness meditation and try it out, I’m using UCLA Health meditations daily — I usually access it on my phone and dive into it when I have time or need a moment for myself.
👉 Catch up on how you really feel.
Anyone who’s gone to therapy, counselling or went through rough times will let you know that there will be conscious and subconscious triggers that can and will set in motion feelings and emotions you have no clue where they came from or what sparked them. In the times of busy schedules, busy-ness, overwork, work-induced stress, juggling many responsibilities and struggling to find balance at times, scheduling time to feel & acknowledge what’s going on with you is priceless. As funny as it sounds, it can help you acknowlegde things / situations you can not change, it can help you embrace the highs and lows in your daily life and also it will make you more resilient when the sea of life starts rocking your boat. Being able to observe your thoughts and feelings from different perspectives / standpoints helps you detach and feel a sense or release knowing that what you’re feeling is not forever, is not never-ending and that it can be changed. Or your perception / attitude towards it changes with time and practice.
👉 Give yourself some sound advice.
We can be our own worst critics and much less gracious with praise or giving ourselves some slack or sound advice. Taking the time to hear and become aware of how we talk to ourselves and how we do (not) nurture our mind and thoughts is important for our overall well-being. I firmly believe that we as individuals possess the inner strength and powers to create the change we wish to see / live, but sometimes have trouble seeing or realizing it. When you sit in silence, breathe or simply take time for a walk, enjoy the moments to re-connect with yourself, there will be subtle ideas that will surface for you to see. I can say for myself, when I mindfully take a moment for my own “pep talk”, my own cheerleading moment, my mind is like the supercomputer working its best to find examples, feelings and experiences that work in my benefit seeing the “badass-y” things I’ve accomplished, lived and experienced. My mind simply wasn’t open and ready to see it, just yet, without some gentle nudge.
Taking mindful moments for myself made me more conscious of finding motivation for what I am / do / wish to see, inside of me and realizing the potential of intrinsic motivation that can be much more powerful than other external motivators that (might also) push you forward.
Optimize your goals and your actions — putting YOURSELF first, right?
When your inner motivation is matched with your external goals and actions, you’re on a road to a specific, more tangible, more achievable “somewhere”. I personally experienced many failures and setbacks, because I failed to see and realize that I was scattered all over the place, literally, in life and thoughts and in my own attitude towards myself, my thoughts and my life / work. I would excel in so-called multi-tasking and getting stuff done (or the word I simply detest “hustling” 24/7), until my cup was dry, drained out and there was not a drop to keep me hydrated.
Scheduling meetings with my-self are now on my calendar and there are no more excuses — aka, too busy, too many deadlines, too much to do, personal errands, family, etc. (I could write the book as long as the yellow pages with all I’ve heard, seen and learnt along the way of “later, not now, if only I had,…..”). When I put myself first and mindfully started peeling off the layers to get to my core — values, beliefs, patterns and aspirations, I started seeing some significant changes:
👉 I am getting better at keeping focus and staying focused. That doesn’t mean challenges, issues or setbacks are gone — nope — but I’ve started engaging less in those draining emotions and situations, and engaging more in inspiring, positive and empowering moments, situations, interactions.
👉 I am better at seeing the bigger picture and aligning / adapting my steps and actions towards it. I’m more mindful at assessing what works for me or not, what matters (in the long run) and when to call it quits and walk away, with peace in my mind and heart.
👉 I am learning to be better and more mindful in saying YES or NO.
👉 I’m beginning to see more clearly where and why there are situtations, people, interactions that drain my energy or lift me up. It’s helped me to change my attitude, to focus my energy, intentions and aspirations where it does matter (where there’s mutual synergy, respect, collaboration, support and care).
👉 I’m fully embracing the Carpe Diem and Dolce Far’ Niente mentality and mental shift. These are not just some phrases or big words for me, I find it liberating in how I go about my life, my work and my overall well-being. Small wins, small moments of gratitude, small rays of sunshine and compassion, rather than chasing the next big win, the next big to-do or the next big YAY moment or the Big Shingy Object someone else is talking about or preaching it’s the ultimate best thing we all need to try, jump on or be part of.
Before I finish this piece I’d like to leave you with a few resources and creators that I’ve been deeply and continuously inspired by (and I’m happy to tell you why). There is no special order or reason in how they’re “ranked” or mentioned below, just how they’ve appeared in my thoughts when writing this.
#1
Ai Addyson-Zhang, Ph.D. has been my inspiration and I’m super proud and humble to be connected to her, privately in professionally. She’s the embodiment of practitioner and professional, a living example of enterpreneur in “the making”, changing traditional learning perceptions and models and a breeze of fresh digital air. If you haven’t yet, do read her latest article for Enterpreneur on how compassion can change your approach to business and entrepreneurship.
#2
Julia McCoy is not only an awesome entrepreneur, content marketing professional and mompreneur CEO, but I admire her focus, her drive and her honesty and truthfulness, when it comes to the highs and lows in life and business. When I read her newsletter “Why “one day” never arrives” it made a shift in me, it resonated so much in how much time and energy we spend in planning, hoping, postponing, finding excuses or just waiting for that “one day moment to come”, that might never happen. Julia, with her Express Writers’ consistent and gradual growth, has been a big influence in how I shifted in my life and business, and how I started putting effort in my own lifelong learning, consistently.
#3
If you haven’t checked out Chris Marr’s work and content, then perhaps you can start now, listening to The CMA podcast — episode “Building the habit of daily journaling”. It not only resonated with me on the topic of scheduling meetings with myself, but his “Journaling challenge” is on my future adventures to do and engage with. And on the side note, he was among my favourite speakers of #MarketEdLive in Nottingham, content-wise and presentation-delivery-wise. His Twitter feed will keep you engaged and inspired on a daily basis.
#4
Chris Strub is what I’d call a friend you’ve known forever, you just needed digital connected environment (aka Twitter) to be reminded of it. His true leadership and influence in how he builds connections, uses social to connect people’s lives, places and experiences is one I deeply admire. I’m #TeamStrub 100%. If you haven’t read his “50 States, 100 days”, yet, go do it. Now. It’s emotional and it’s given me many lessons for myself and the work I do with young people. And you’re in luck, his latest “Fight For Good Tour: The Book” is now also available — even more #Food4Thought to discuss at #SMMW19.
#5
Irene aka Irish Irene aka MissFitBit is a someone I met online and connected with instantly. We’ve become really close friends, trying to make IRL meetups possible every now and then. She’s my constant source of inspiration, kindness, care and motivation. How she shares her fitness journey and health transformation one day at a time, honestly, with no BS and how she advocates for mental health and speaks up for others, who can not, is more than admirable. It’s the purest and kindest form / way of cheerleading for others I’ve seen and experienced in a long time.
#6
Last, but not least, Serena Ryan has become a wonderful connection-turned friend. I’ve been super honored to prepare and submit a workshop proposal together with Ai Addyson-Zhang, Ph.D. for #SXSWEdu, which was not selected for 2019, but has given us new ideas and opportunities ahead. What resonated with me most is her sharing her own personal story on awakening and connecting the dots (of our experiences, lives and moments we co-create, sometimes on a subconscious level).
Hvala. Thank you. Gracias. For reading and spending your time, entertaining my thoughts and writing. If this resonated with you, feel free to drop me a note or comment below, reach out on Twitter or share it along. Whatever resonates with you is totally OK.
