BEING ALONE IS A THING

“I feel so sorry for her!” she exclaimed.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because she’s eating alone. No one should be alone in a restaurant. That’s so sad” she wistfully replied.

“But what if she wants to be alone? Maybe she enjoys being alone and likes time to herself. She doesn’t look upset or depressed” I countered, revealing some evidence of my opinion. Quite honestly, she almost looked as if she was smiling.

“No. No one likes to eat alone” She confidently asserted.

I disagree. I am one of those people who likes time alone, I enjoy going out and doing things alone. Eating in restaurants, going to movies, traveling out of town; I’ve done all those things alone. Of course I have friends, and I do hang out with them. But, sometimes I don’t want to wait until he or she is available for me to do what I want.

Last week, I made plans for a day trip to Banff with a girlfriend. She ended up not being able to make it, so I drove out there alone and had lunch there. I’ve also gone to see movies and sat alone in the middle of the movie theater (mind you, that’s easier to do on matinees). I rarely go shopping with another human being. That’s one thing that I do much more successfully when I’m alone. It’s almost as if having someone there cramps my hunting instinct. But that’s not to say that I’ve never had a successful shopping trip with a friend.

I have no problem with solitude. In fact, it’s a necessity for my sensitive and introverted mind. I just had lunch alone in a Chinese restaurant today, in fact. And I wasn’t the only person who was there solo. A few people who were eating their meals alone.

I am recharged from being alone. I feel rejuvenated. Refreshed. Like I’ve had a good night’s sleep. I don’t feel right unless I’ve detached from social interaction for a while. Perhaps it’s easier to be alone now than 20 years ago; with the prevalence of smartphones and mobile devices, many people don’t feel the need to socialize or reach out in the traditional sense. You can be physically alone in the mountains, but still very much connected to your friends, family, and colleagues around the world.

I craved solitude long before smartphones and tablets were invented. I needed silence long before it became a commodity. I think I need it now more than ever. I long for an extended weekend alone out of town; away from society, technology, and distractions.

I try not to be alone all the time, of course. We all need human companionship. But solitude isn’t a bad thing. I think there’s a certain strength in solitude. A strength to be with one’s self, and not depend on or pine for external support. Maybe that’s why I like it.