Premier League Starter Kit

Leicester City

“Cinderella Story” doesn’t come close to describing Premier League Champion Leicester’s season. The bookies had them at 5000/1 odds of winning the Premier League but they somehow pulled it off on the backs of relative no-names like Jamie Vardy and Danny Drinkwater. Manager Claudio Ranieri should be applauded for coaching a tightly drilled squad that put on amazingly consistent performances week in and week out. Striker Jamie Vardy came out of nowhere to score 24 goals and lead the Tigers to the title. The big question this season is whether Vardy and teammates such as Riyad Mahrez and Christian Fuchs will be able to maintain this high level of football with the departure of midfield engine N’Golo Kante to Chelsea.

Key Player: Jamie Vardy

Vardy is a straightforward type of striker: He runs in behind the defense, gets on the end of long balls from his teammates, and slots them home. No muss, no fuss. He turns 30 this season so age is a concern for a striker who relies mostly on speed.We’ll find out if he can keep banging in goals or if he was a flash in the pan.

American Sports Equivalent: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

There’s no comparison in American sports for what Leicester did last year. This was their first year back in the Premier League after being in the second tier of British football for 5 years. As recently 2009, they were in the third tier of British football. The closest thing would be like a AAA baseball team winning 120 games and winning the World Series.

Arsenal

Oh, Arsenal. They’re always good but they’re never great. They haven’t won the championship in more than a decade but somehow always manage to finish second, third, or fourth. Every year is their year to win it all according to their supporters but it never seems to come to fruition. The Gunners have a high-powered offense with a plethora of world-class players including Alexis Sanchez, Olivier Giroud, and Mesut Özil, yet they can never seem to get over that hump. New signing Granit Xhaka was brought in to shore up the midfield and Gunners supporters hope he is the missing piece that they need to bring the Premier League title home to North London.

Key Player: Mesut Özil

The German international is an assists machine, leading the Premier League last year with 19, which was 6 more than his closest competitor. Özil averaged a blistering .74 goals+assists/90 last season. As he goes, so goes Arsenal’s offense. If he can recreate last year’s form, Arsenal‘s chances of winning the title look good.

American Sports Equivalent: Early 90’s Buffalo Bills

They get close every year but can never seem to win the whole thing.

Tottenham

In 2013, the Spurs sold winger Gareth Bale to Real Madrid for a eye-watering €100.7 million. They used the money to buy a bunch of young players, some of whom, like Christian Erikson and Erik Lamela, have turned into bona fide stars. Homegrown player (and Draco Malfoy doppelgänger) Harry Kane came out of nowhere two years ago to set the league on fire.

He showed no signs of stopping this past season, netting 25 times and winning the Golden Boot. And with the emergence of 20-year-old Dele Alli, Tottenham look set to be dangerous for years to come. The question is if they can take that next step and become champions. Or at least avoid a St. Totteringham’s Day this year.

Key Player: Dele Alli

Alli was one of Tottenham’s finest players last season. At only 20 years of age, he brought a spark to the Spurs’ offensive play, chipping in with 10 goals and 9 assists making for a phenomenal .69 Goals+Assists/90. If he can improve even more this season, he will be a major force to be reckoned with in the attacking midfield.

American Sports Equivalent: Chicago Cubs

After many seasons of “meh”, they’re breaking out with a cadre of young players at the forefront.

Manchester City

Manchester City, oftentimes known simply as “City” are the new kids on the block, relatively speaking. Rival Manchester United’s former manager Sir Alex Ferguson once called them “the noisy neighbors”. Well the noisy neighbors are here to stay. The Citizens have won 2 of the last 5 Premier League titles. Along with talented players such as Sergio Aguero and Kevin De Bruyne and new signing Ilkay Gundogan, City also have a new manager in Pep Guardiola. Guardiola, fresh off winning his third consecutive Bundesliga title with Bayern Munich, is looking for a new challenge in the Premier League after being wildly successful with both Bayern and previously, Barcelona. Guardiola is a tactical genius, moving his players around like pieces on a chessboard. It will be interesting to see if his success follows him to England.

Key Player: Sergio Aguero

Sergio Aguero is the most lethal striker in the Premier League, netting at a rate of almost a goal per 90 minutes. Simply put, if he’s on the pitch, he’s probably gonna score. Already a Citizens legend because of the Man City Miracle, Aguero would have probably won the Golden Boot last year if not for injuries that caused him to miss 9 games. The Argentine striker is in the prime of his career and City will look to him to continue to bang in goals this season.

American Sports Equivalent: Early 2000’s Lakers

They’re consistently very good and if they don’t win the title, they’re always in the mix.

Manchester United

Man United used to be the cream of the crop in England. Under Sir Alex Ferguson, the Red Devils reigned supreme for the past two decades. But dismal spells under David Moyes and Louis Van Gaal have seen Man U supporters become restless. A roster loaded with world class talent that constantly underperforms has seen a managerial change take place in the form of Jose Mourinho. The Portuguese is fiery, brash, and not afraid to make headlines. All eyes will be on him to see if he can mold a roster filled with young talent including Paul Pogba, Memphis Depay and Marcus Rashford into a winning side once more.

Also, they signed Zlatan. So that’ll be fun.

Key Player: Paul Pogba

Paul Pogba is one of the most exciting young players in the game today. His taste in fantastic haircuts is only surpassed in by his skill on the pitch. The 23-year-old midfielder can play anywhere in the midfield. His size and strength make him stalwart on defense and his raw athleticism give him an explosive edge on offense. Plus he can do stuff like this:

He’s worth every penny of the €105 million spent to bring him to Old Trafford.

American Sports Equivalent: New York Yankees

Historically, they are very, very good but have hit a slump recently. You either love them or hate them-there is no in-between.

Southampton

Southampton are a seeming paradox of a football club. Every year, they somehow battle to a respectable finish in the top half of the table while simultaneously spending every offseason selling their best players to other clubs. The stars of this year’s episode of “Who’s Leaving Southampton” are Sadio Mané and Graziano Pellè; leaving for the greener pastures of Liverpool and Chinese club Shandong Luneng, respectively. Yet somehow with their best talent jetting off year after year, Southampton still manages to be a really good team. A lot of that is due to their manager Ronald Koeman…who just left to take charge of Everton. So this season is looking, um, interesting? But fear not. Something tells me that Southampton will somehow find a way to win this season. They always seem to.

Key Player: Shane Long

With co-leading goalscorers Sadio Mané and Graziano Pellè gone, much more of the offensive responsibilities will fall to the Irishman. If Southampton wish to succeed this season, Long must do his part to pick up the slack.

American Sports Equivalent: Memphis Grizzlies

They’re not super great, but they’re never bad and sometimes they just might surprise you.

West Ham

West Ham were somewhat of a surprise last season; finishing 7th. It’s somewhat confounding how they managed to finish this high in the table being that overall, they conceded more goals than they scored. However, manager Slavan Bilic somehow found a way to get them into the upper middle half of the table. It will be interesting to see if the Hammers can duplicate their success this year. Midfielder Dimitri Payet, fresh off a sensational performance at the European championships this summer, will seek to reprise his role as leading goal scorer. Others such as Andy Carrol and Enner Valencia will hope to help West Ham make their mark on this year’s Premier League.

Key Player: Dimitri Payet

Payet burst into the public consciousness after having a fantastic European championship for host nation France. The midfielder’s scoring ability from both open play and free kicks make him a player that opponents have to game plan around. Payet was the Hammers’ co-leading scorer with 9 goals last season. I wouldn’t be surprised to see him eclipse this mark this season.

American Sports Equivalent: Mid 2000’s Atlanta Hawks

Never really great, never really bad. When you see them on your team’s schedule, you kinda mentally mark down that game as win. But they always put up a surprisingly tough fight.

Liverpool

Liverpool are a bit of a frustrating club to be a supporter of. There’s always this sense of “close, but no cigar” with the Reds. This past season, they went to two cup finals only to lose both of them. They finished 8th in the league which put them just out of reach for Europa League qualifying. Electric striker Daniel Sturridge has had his brilliance dimmed by nagging injuries. The Scousers seemingly can’t catch a break. But there’s a sense of optimism in the red portion of Merseyside. Former Dortmund manager Jurgen Klopp took over mid-season and drastically changed the club’s style of play to a high-energy pressing style of football. Exciting new signings Loris Karius, Georginio Wijnaldum, and Sadio Mané have the Reds coming into this season feeling very good about their chances to make some noise in this year’s Premier League.

Key Player: Daniel Sturridge

Sturridge only logged 979 Premier League minutes last season because of several injuries that kept him out of the match day squad for extended periods of time. However, when healthy, the Englishman is one of the Premier League’s most lethal finishers, scoring at a rate of .74 goals/90 minutes in last years injury-hampered season. If he can stay healthy, Sturridge will be a pillar of Liverpool’s success this season.

American Sports Equivalent: Mid-90's-Early 00’s Atlanta Braves

Always very good year in and year out but can never seem to put it together when it counts.

Stoke City

Stoke are club that are better than they look. What I mean by that is that when you watch them play, they don’t seem like a team that finished 9th in the table. When you look at their roster you may not see a bunch of superstars but you will find is a club full of solid players. Swiss winger Xherdan Shaqiri and record breaking £18.5 million signing Giannelli Imbula anchor the midfield while leading scorer Marko Arnautovic leads the line. However, the Potters main problem is their defense let in 55 goals last season. If they can seal the gaps in the back, Stoke look like a team that will improve this season.

Key Player: Xherdan Shaqiri

The winger was in fine form for the Switzerland national team this summer. He buzzed busily around the field and scored this spectacular goal during the European championships. Stoke will desperately need him to reproduce that form this season.

American Sports Equivalent: Baltimore Ravens

They have a few true star players but are more of a conglomeration of solid players.

Chelsea

Chelsea are an interesting case. They ran away with the league two years ago but this past year they played so dismally that they fired manager Jose Mourinho mid-season. They have a prestigious new manager in former Italian national team coach Antonio Conte whose appointment should add an interesting wrinkle to the Blue’s season. Conte has a reputation as a brilliant tactician, leading well-drilled teams to victory. He’s got to be salivating over a Chelsea roster that is absolutely loaded with talent including Eden Hazard, Diego Costa, and new signing N’Golo Konte. But will he able to put it all together for a title run?

Key Player: Eden Hazard

Two seasons ago, he put on world-class performances almost every week. Last season, the Belgian international was incredibly pedestrian. In 13/14, Hazard scored 14 times and assisted 9. Last year he only contributed 4 goals and 3 assists. A good portion of Chelsea’s fate hangs on which Eden Hazard shows up this year.

American Sports Equivalent: Washington Nationals

They got really good, really fast a few years ago but have had a recent drop in form.

Everton

Everton had a very good season under Roberto Martinez in 2012/2013, finishing 6th in the league.. However, the following two years weren’t nearly as good. The Toffees finished 11th the past two seasons, which led to Martinez being sacked at the end of this past season. His replacement, former Southampton manager Ronald Koeman , will look to revitalize a side that looked demoralized at times last year. With talismanic striker Romulu Lukaku rumored to be off to greener pastures, Everton may be on the hunt for goals this season. However, Koeman has done more with less at Southampton and he is sure to inject new life into the blue half of Merseyside.

Key Player: Ross Barkley

With the pending departure of Lukaku, who scored over 30% of Everton’s Premier League goals last year, more of the offensive burden will fall on the Englishman. Whether he can shoulder this increased responsibility will go a long way towards determining Everton’s fate.

American Sports Equivalent: Post-Lebron Miami Heat

An above-average team buoyed by a superstar. Then the superstar leaves…

Swansea City

Swansea City is the only Premier League club that is based out of Wales. The Swans finished 12th in the League last year, a respectable finish for a team that went through some managerial turbulence. Gary Monk had only won 3 games before he was fired in mid-December. He was replaced by Francesco Guidolin in December. The Italian managed to right the ship and is looking to build upon the positives of last season. André Ayew and Gylfi Sigurdsson led Swansea with 12 and 11 goals respectively. However, Ayew has left the Swans, completing a £20.5 million move to West Ham. Even with his departure, scoring goals is not the Welsh side’s main problem. They must seek to address the -10 goal difference of last season if they wish to move up the table this year.

Key Player: Gylfi Sigurdsson

Sigurdsson had a fantastic European Championships with his native Iceland. He was a vital part of their Cinderella-esque run to the quarterfinals. Sigurdsson was the second-leading scorer as well as the leading assister for Swansea last season. He must have another great season if Swansea wish to take that next step.

American Sports Equivalent: Houston Rockets

They can score but defense is an area of concern.

Watford

Watford finished 13th in the table last season which is very respectable considering this was their first year back in the uppermost echelon of English football after an absence of 8 years. A high-powered offense led by Troy Deeney and Odion Ighalo helped the Hornets to results such as their 3–0 drubbing of Liverpool. In general, the Hornets did what they needed to do: Beat the clubs they were supposed to and then find a way to sneak a few wins and draws against some of the better clubs. Overall, Watford look to be a club on the rise.

Key Player: Troy Deeney

Deeney was one of Watford’s best players last season. Attempts by other clubs to pry the Englishman away from the club were unsuccessful and Watford hope he can recreate the magic of last season. Deeney was a vital part of the Watford’s offensive firepower, posting a .54 Goals+Assists/90 minutes last season. If Deeney can replicate this success, Watford look to be headed in the right direction.

American Sports Equivalent: Buffalo Bills

A team with a pretty mediocre record but there are sparks of something really good hidden there.

West Bromich Albion

West Bromich Albion, better known as West Brom, finished 14th in the table last year. Their main problem was a lack of offense, averaging less than a goal per game and only 2.8 shots on target per game. However, the Baggies managed to grind out enough results to ensure a mid-table finish along with beating top sides such as Manchester United and Arsenal. If West Brom want to move up the table this year, they must focus on getting better offensive production from their players.

Key Player: Saido Berahino

The 22-year old striker has a great deal of potential. He scored only 4 goals last season for West Brom and the Baggies will be hoping that he can add significantly to that total. Berahino is a young player yet and it will be interesting to see whether he can begin his growth into a bonafide star this season.

American Sports Equivalent: Brooklyn Nets

A team that performs relatively well but doesn’t have enough offensive firepower to really mount a challenge.

Crystal Palace

Crystal Palace had a relatively pedestrian season last year, finishing 15th in the table. However, they came close to winning the FA Cup, losing to Manchester United 2–1 in extra time. The Eagles’ problem was that they couldn’t score goals to save their lives. Their leading goal scorer had a measly five goals. As a team they only scored 39 goals all season. However, Welsh goalkeeper Wayne Hennessey played a huge part in keeping them in games and protecting positive results when they were to be had. Without such a quality net-minder, Palace would have been in very dire straits. The maddening thing for their supporters is that Crystal Palace has quality attacking players. Emmanuel Adabayor, Wilfried Zaha and Jason Puncheon are far from chopped liver. These players need to step up if Crystal Palace wants to avoid the relegation zone this year.

Key Player: Wayne Hennessey

If the Welsh ‘keeper can stay healthy and improve on his performances of last season, he can go a long way towards improving his team’s play. If they other guys don’t score, Palace only have to score one.

American Sports Equivalent: Milwaukee Bucks

Full of offensive talent, but can’t put it together consistently to create winning seasons.

Bournemouth

Bournemouth have a really cool story. They’ve been in existence for 126 years and last season was the first time they had made it to the top flight of English football. They didn’t exactly set the world on fire in the 15/16 season but they scraped together enough results to finish 16th and remain in the Premier League. Clubs like these are what make promotion/relegation so awesome (CoughcoughDonGarberandMLS). Bournemouth have the same problems that most newly promoted team have: Lack of scoring and lack of being able to prevent the other guys from scoring. However, they managed picked their times to score very judiciously. When they won, they would win by slim margins and when they would lose, they’d lose handily. And apparently that “strategy” worked. Manager Eddie Howe Deserves a lot of credit for navigating his side through their first season playing with the big boys. It will be interesting to see if the Cherries can continue their progress in the coming seasons.

Key Player: Callum Wilson

Wilson looked to be a big star in the beginning of the season, scoring a hat trick against West Ham. However, an ACL tear cut short a season teeming with promise. Fully recovered, Wilson will lead a Bournemouth line hungry for goals. The Englishman will be the catalyst for the Cherries’ offensive attack this season.

American Sports Equivalent: Oakland Raiders

Have been in the bottom tier for a while but a lot of exciting young players are looking to reverse that trend.

Sunderland

Sunderland managed to escape relegation last season by the skin of their teeth, finishing 17th. It took the Black Cats until May 11 to ensure that they would stay in the Premiership, adding more than a few grey hairs to manager Sam Allardyce’s head. But the Englishman managed to guide Sunderland to another season in England’s top flight. However, Allardyce has now left the Black Cats to be the manager of the English national team. (Which, I mean….good luck m8.) Former Manchester United manager David Moyes has taken over and looks to improve upon Allardyce’s work. One of Sunderland’s problems is their inability to score goals. They averaged a mere 1.26 goals per match while conceding an average 1.63. Their goal output was heavily dependent on striker Jermaine Defoe. He was their leading scorer with 15 goals while the player with the second-most on the team was Fabio Borini with a paltry 5. If Sunderland wish to avoid another relegation battle, they simply must score more.

Key Player: Jermaine Defoe

Defoe was, in large part, the savior of the Black Cats’ season. He scored over 30% of Sunderland’s goals last season at a clip of .51 goals/90 minutes and was a huge part of the reason they didn’t get relegated. Hopefully, others on the team will step up this season but even if they do, Sunderland need Defoe to maintain this level of performance. The question, can he? The Englishman will be 34 years old when the season starts and it’s only a matter of time before Father Time catches up to him.

American Sports Equivalent: The Phoenix Suns During The Steve Nash Era

The team is pretty Not Good overall but they have one real star to drag them out of the muck time and again.

Burnley

Burnley was relegated 2 seasons ago but have quickly made their way back into the Premier League. They’ve spent the last several years fluctuating between the Premier League and The Championship. This year, they will be looking for some consistency so that they can stay up for more than a year at a time. The Clarets finished at the top of the table in the Championship last year and are looking to ride that momentum. Striker Andre Gray was fantastic for the club last year, scoring 23 goals. Gray will have to replicate that performance if Burnley wish to be successful this year.

Key Player: Andre Gray

Gray scored 32% of Burnley’s goals last season at a rate of.61 goals/90 minutes. The biggest question is whether or not the 25-year old Englishman can continue this kind of output week in and week out against the world-class competition of the Premier League. The answer to that question will go a long way towards determining Burnley’s fate this season.

American Sports Equivalent: Philadelphia 76's

A bottom-tier team with a really exciting young player to build around.

Middlesbrough

Middlesbrough finished 2nd in the Championship last year, earning them promotion to the Premier League. They accomplished this by playing a stingy brand of defense, conceding a mere 31 goals over 46 league games. The centerback pairing of Ben Gibson and Daniel Ayala were the heart of this defense and the great thing for Boro fans is that they are 23 and 25 respectively. Middlesbrough has the core of a defense that looks set to be very good for a very long time. If Middlesbrough can increase their goal scoring, they look like they can stay up this year and build upon their success.

Key Player: David Nugent

Middlesbrough signed Nugent for a £4 million fee from Leicester. They got a great return on their on their investment as the Englishman was their leading scorer and assister. Nugent needs to keep up this production in order for his club to be successful. However, the 31-year old will be facing much tough competition and it remains to be seen if he can ratchet up his game ito Premier League standards.

American Sports Equivalent: Early 2000’s Tampa Bay Bucs

Stingy defense with a so-so offense