I’d like to add the concept of “baggage” to the #metoo discussion.
I’ve heard this term since I was a child, and while it can be assigned to anyone, for any reason, I’ve heard it applied mostly to women who are 30+ and exhibit some form of abrasive behavior towards men due to past experiences. Implicit in this term is its flip side: that to be desirable or tolerable, a woman must be able to carry her past burdens without demonstrating how heavy they are.
Just as a soldier/journalist/medic/peacekeeper/etc. who comes back from a conflict zone “changed” shouldn’t be expected to quietly file away traumatic experiences and resume societal pleasantries, a woman shouldn’t be expected to pretend the dumbbells in her pockets aren’t there.
I’ve spent so many years internalizing this concept I’d actually decided I wasn’t going to participate in this conversation at all.
Some shit is heavy, and I don’t care who knows it.