i choked in my tears while yelling profanities trying to hurt him as much as i was hurting.
the pain i felt was undesirable so i seek vengeance.
i curl my fist and hit him hard on the arm, but he didn’t flinch like i wanted him to so i swayed my palm across his face.
i screamed even more “hit me back!” but he ignored.
“hit me back if you want me to stop!” as my eyes turned red filled with rage and continue to give him a few more punches across his chest and his stomach.
he grabbed both of my wrists tightly and yelled “stop!” as he stared into my eyes trying to hold his tears and pulled me to his chest.
“get off me!” but he continue to hug me even tighter.
i plead “please… just leave me, please”
“no, i love you”
“you don’t. so stop. please, go away” as i pushed him away to withdrew myself from the hug.
*thud!* he punch the concrete wall with his fist till his knuckles bleed.
i cried as i walk away……
// looking back, i never regret leaving you. it was one of the best decision i ever made. i was sick and i needed some help. i knew i was hurting you and it would break the both of us if we were to stay. now you’ve met the most beautiful girl who appreciates your entire existence more than i ever did. but thank you, thank you for showing me that it’s possible to love someone genuinely and whole heartedly without asking for anything back in return.
i’m afraid i’ll turn bad again someday, and have to let someone else see that version of me. what if he can’t accept me like how you do?
“if you were to given a chance to go back with him, would you?”
“no, but if i were to be given a chance to back in time, i would’ve treated him well”
