An Autobiography through Numerology

“Say it all” By Zorays Khalid

There is one other person that is there or is a heavy influence on my entire life. I have a tendency to see my lover and myself as one soul or one person.

I am a reserved, analytical and peace-loving soul who is blessed with intuition and intelligence. I often excel at all forms of scholastics. My intellectual prowess as well as the clarity and foresight of mind has been very evident to others from an early age.

However at the same time I am very spiritual. I believe whole heartedly in the relationship between Mother Nature and science. This is part of my inquisitive nature so I have a determination to get to the bottom of what makes the world tick.

I dislike braggarts, gossips and neurotic individuals and find socializing difficult. This is because I can barely hold back my contempt of other people, who are often, indeed acting like fools. I dislike crowds, noise and confusion, so others are more likely to find me watching television at home rather than attending a big sports events.

I almost always end up being in the right place at the right time. I have the discipline and mental power to master anything in half the time. I often am very good with money and never make the mistake of letting compound interest work against me. I am the most reluctant to lend or borrow money.

My mind works at the speed of lightening or what, it often makes difficult for me to be understood by others. Others simply cannot evaluate or analyze information as fast as I am doing. I have difficulty expressing myself. One of my life path challenges is to learn how to slow down and accommodate these people but that may also offer me emotional rewards in my life. Someday.

The fact that I am so easily misunderstood makes social and love situations very challenging for me. I suffer a great deal of rejection from my peers as I am misconceived as contemptuous and aloof. Overcoming shyness is also a common problem for me. I can’t understand why others don’t appreciate how smart I am. Duh? Uh-huh.

I am not likely to have a wide circle of friends, but once I do accept someone as my friend the bond is usually for life. How I wish, the same thing goes for my love life. It would be sadistic for me to go my entire life without a partner simply because I cannot relate to the emotions and drama that accompany most relationships. This has caused me to appear self-centered to others as I opt to spend my time on more interesting subjects. Or at least what I think as interesting subjects.

As emotions are very trying, I may find myself feeling very unbalanced when I am in a relationship. I am very prone to negative codependent behaviors such as obsession or acting out fears of abandonment on a partner. For this reason many close personal relationships haven’t lasted for long.

I am happiest when I am alone to pursue my innermost thoughts and inner dreams. I am interested in the occult or metaphysical matters as well as science, anthropology, archaeology and religions. I am great music lover as it is an art form that blends math with spiritual qualities.

I am optimistic, inquisitive and embrace change. I am a freedom-loving individual who expresses his love of independence often through a bohemian or unusual life style. My colleagues believe that I am blessed with a brilliant creative mind that is never at a loss for a solution to a problem. I thank God for that.

As my independence is so important to me, I thrive best in creative occupations that allowed me a great deal of travel. I have an eye for design and appreciate the good things in life. In fact, I may spend a lot of my time trying to figure out how to get these things without having to work too hard.

I have met with the most success by selling some aspect of myself or my talent. The height of my personal expression is in my talent for persuasion. This is why I am have had jobs in media, marketing and design.

I very much believe that a person is defined by what he does and not what he wants to do so any business or project that I have started has been very much branded with my personal flair. It is what that tends me to name a business after myself or send out a resume with a photo.

When it comes to business I also tend to have a “hands on” approach as I rely a lot on my wit, charm and good looks to get what I want. Once the deal is sealed, however, I sometimes have difficulty seeing it through to completion. This is because my mind is captured by so many other interests that it is difficult for me to focus sometimes.

Sometimes I need to express my independence brings me to a critical point in both my professional and personal relationships. I am terrified of being stuck in one place or having my free spirit suffocated by labels and possessiveness. For this reason I feel quite suffocated in relationships or unable to hold down a day job for any length of time.

I am very popular socially because I am the life of every party. Remember? I have light nimble mind and have excellent verbal skills. I also have enormous powers of analysis that gives me an edge when it comes to investing money, judging others and avoiding harmful situations.

I am also very accepting of new people and new ideas. The last thing that could ever be said of me is that I am closed minded. I will try anything once and I often respond willingly to a dare. However, sometimes my permissiveness leads to relationships with odd or unstable individuals.

Romantically others may find me hard to get close to as I would rather sit and chat than get intimate. Others fail to understand that the most valued expression of my love is the expression of my hopes and dreams to another.

I am also very pragmatic when it comes to all of my relationships and believe in treating everyone equally. Deep down I am very philosophical about relationships and believe that no person should be so important that he or she should have the power to make me happy or sad. This futuristic can often distress my to-be soul mate who wouldn’t feel that special in my presence. Part of my challenge might be showing through my actions, how loving all without sacrificing one can be achieved.

My soul urge is to nurture and take care of others. I love people and believe the greatest expression of my inner divinity is through teaching and guidance. I am very paternal from an early age and often regulated, by default to the role of advisor or therapist in my social life.

Unfortunately my willingness to take on other people’s burdens threatens my romantic relationships. This is because I am often perceived as a friend or a helper rather than as an object of desire. As a result, I end up with a tiny little broken heart simply because others simply could not recognize my empathy as being an expression of love and desire.

Part of my challenge in life is to learn how to make myself more sexually attractive to others. Often this means learning the brutal rules of the game of love, which in courtship often mean practicing a certain kinds of power plays and being mysterious. The mistake that I often make is letting myself be too available to the person I am trying to attract. As the object of desire realizes that I am willing to be there for them no matter what, they take it for granted that I will settle for less. I will spend a year comforting someone I am attracted to in the hopes the person will recognize my good heart, only to be dismayed when I am thanked for all my kind support and the person moves onto a romance with someone else.

My candidness and forthright manner is also a drawback romantically as others are turned off by your dogmatic approach. As I tend to discuss everything about myself with a member of the opposite sex, there is little mysterious or sexy about me. I am so transparent that spilling my guts does not help me professionally either, as it encourages others to steal my ideals. Part of my inner struggle be fighting my urge to connect so intimately with every single person you meet. I have realized that one way to combat this is to make an effort to be a little more stand offish and play my cards close to my chest, especially when it comes to romance.

As I am very sensitive and compassionate I tend to take things very personally. When others let me down I have a tendency to retreat from society and nurse your wounds. Often when I decide to play the victim in a relationship I am met with very little sympathy or help. This is ironic as I am so eager to help others and comfort them when they are down and out. The cosmos presents me with this type of situation so that I am forced to heal myself with the same type of focus and devotion that I use to heal others.

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