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Hi Jaden,

That’s what so great about the venue — the ability to share and connect with others on a deeper level by sharing experiences and stories.

Thankfully (I guess) for me I didn’t wait until marriage because I have never been married. I waited for my first serious boyfriend however, but could never figure out what the big deal was about the whole thing. This is terrible to say now — to some degree I saw sex as something that was to be tolerated in a serious relationship. I had the impression that that was how many women felt about it. Sex was a necessary evil to be borne to some degree, a la “close your eyes and think about something else”.

If sex was something that women didn’t enjoy but instead endured, it was easy to see how and why the religious folks were so judgmental about it and saw it as a “moral failing” to be called out and criticized. It’s a classic case of projection. “I don’t enjoy sex therefore other women must not enjoy it either and if they are pretending to enjoy it they must have an ulterior and sinister motive.” If you are brought up with that mindset it is easy to see why your emotional relationship with sex would be complicated or negatively colored. In an effort to control women’s sexuality to avoid having to deal with too many children produced out of wedlock with no one to take financial responsibility for them, it was safer to create a cloud of fear and shame around physical interactions. I guess that was what worked best for such a long time that we are all still seeing the fallout of that attitude in the ways we talk about and deal with sex.

I could write volumes about that. It’s fascinating, isn’t it?

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