I am sorry — you are way too hilarious for a corporate gig. That is unless the gig is taken to provide more fodder for these stories. If so, please proceed for the good of our nation!

Seriously though, if the lizard didn’t tell you why she said what she said, she missed a good chance to help you figure out whether you or not were barking up the wrong tree. A correction of your employment course may actually be in order.