When I was in college I had a friend whose mom had a very similar first experience as you and your mother. As a result my friend had the benefit of having a minor surgery beforehand when she decided that she was ready for sex. Some women have a very thick hymen that means that their vaginal opening is much smaller than it should be. If you were able to use a tampon, you probably had some form of a Microperforate hymen. I didn’t learn about that in sex education. I only found out about it because of that friend of mine.