The Samsara of Writing
The birth (or rebirth) of blogs and personalities
Samsara n. the cycle of death and rebirth
I have three existing blogs on cyberspace at this very moment.
The first one I created way back 2005. I was in first year high school, so you know the cringe-fest I engage in every single time I revisit the site. I used to post about songs I liked, mushy love quotes, dreams about meeting certain celebrities and talking Enchanta. I remember putting up an online persona, hiding the innocence and adolescence to access Yahoo Chat Rooms that served as Omegle and Tinder for then yuppies. I still cower in shame thinking that I tricked a couple of foreigners using a photo of Jennylyn Mercado. (And yes, the entire experience wouldn’t be complete without the unsolicited sight of someone’s dick — fucking click bait.)
The second blog was a product of my first year as an employed citizen. It was a blog I spent a lot of time designing, perhaps partially influenced by having graphic artists surround me in the office. I even had a custom logo created to make it look legit — as if people would actually look into it. I kinda liked the idea of having a blog where I could post all my ramblings and adventures as an adult. Ironically — being an adult massacred the idea. I barely couldn’t find the time to write about everything that’s happening, more so, find the challenge to write, in itself.
The most recent one was not really a blog, but more of a micro blog project I started on Tumblr. It was at the point of depression that I really had to grieve without the pressure of writing a proper blog post. The moment I got over the mess I got myself involved in, I abandoned the project as well.
Along with those three blogs are personalities of myself that I’ve killed through the years. The nasty, angsty teenager who couldn’t wait to grow up, the excited adult and the depressed fella. There are remnants of those parts with me, and it makes me who I am now.
This blog is the fourth. And yes, living at this moment feels like rebirth.