Inspired by a viral tweet, the MEL staff weighs in with the definitive list of under-the-radar anthems

Kids, disconnect your brain stems from the Bezoscloud and swipe your iPhone XVIII holograms closed—it’s time I told you about the TV theme song.

A long, long time ago, our favorite shows had full songs before every episode, and we sat through multiple minutes of these tunes because they were great. You got the full cast, the character introductions and even the episode titles, and every week you’d hear the same exact song. A single synth-y saxophone line delivered a morphine dose of comfort.

With the rise of streaming culture, though, theme songs went from 3 minutes to 60 seconds…

We asked a doctor and a beauty expert about that viral Pete Davidson story

Look, this is all very dumb, but when there’s a story about “butthole eyes” in the media cycle, it’s the duty of every noble newshound to separate truth from bullshit, and the New York Post royally fucked up.

Pete Davidson, cast member of Saturday Night Live and new fiancé to Ariana Grande, has Crohn’s, an inflammatory bowel disease with no cure. Davidson also has sunken, deep-set eyes, with apparently brown-tinted eyelids.

Barstool Sports, a media empire of misogyny whose workplace culture makes Roger Ailes–era Fox News sound delightful, seized on his dark circles and called Davidson “butthole eyes” in…

Iconic R-rated films, as described by the (unintentionally hilarious) tool parents use to screen movies for their kids

I’ve got an annoying, near-religious habit of checking IMDb when I watch literally anything. I can’t help but gobble up cast lists and other useless knowledge. It’s a compulsion left over from the days of weekly bar trivia; you never know when someone will challenge you to a game of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon or wonder out loud when American Graffiti came out (1973! Look, a teenage Ron Howard!). IMDb is known for listing goofs, facts and quotes, but the really fun part is the Parents Guide.

What’s the Parents Guide? IMDb’s parental resource that details every instance of…

A guy called drewhead118 became internet famous for writing sonnets for his matches—but he says that’s not his secret to love

In the creative wasteland of Tinder flirting, the great opening line is a lost art.

Tinder launched in 2014, and with 50 million monthly active users and an average of 12 million daily matches, the competition for someone’s attention is steep. Still, friends and colleagues say, guys won’t make an effort to reach out with more than a casual “hi,” “hey” or “hey, what’s up,” or even just an emoji.

One MEL writer describes her intros as “astonishingly the same that give you nothing to go on.” Another notes how guys tend to confuse visual comprehension for genuine perceptiveness: “I…

The GOAT is uniquely qualified to help suffering schools, rave educators and policy wonks

LeBron James is entering the twilight of his career with an eye on his legacy — not just as a hyper-efficient deep-three shooter, a mentor to his young new Lakers teammates or even the increasingly likely Greatest of All Time, but as an educator to underprivileged and at-risk children in his Ohio hometown.

James’ I Promise School, which opened Monday in Akron, marks a commitment to its community that is as awe-inspiring as James’ athleticism. It may actually be his greatest achievement. …

Fans can’t handle their hero drinking a shitty drink, so they invent wild theories to explain his weaksauce cocktail

H.L. Mencken is said to have called the martini “the only American invention as perfect as the sonnet,” so it only makes sense that, of all people, it’s James Bond who keeps fucking it up.

Bond’s signature drink order—“shaken, not stirred”—has, in traditional guy culture, come to represent a man of culture, a man comfortable among the finer things, a man who knows what he wants and asks for it assertively. Every new Bond film featuring the drink (i.e., …

Guys actually seem eager to show off their newfound fashion sense. What does it say about the state of millennial menswear?

With one swift motion, Tan France, the silver-coiffed menswear zaddy who stars in the Netflix reboot of Queer Eye, changed the game for fashion-frightened dudes looking for a way to wear the same old clothes but look slightly less like a slob.

Episode after episode features many of the same tips, which magically seem to transform each hunched, grizzled 30-something nebbish with a 13-year-old’s closet. In Season One, we learned all about the casual magic of an open short-sleeve button down over a T-shirt. (“Oh, this old thing? Just threw it on.”) …

Dwayne Johnson’s impossible leap has the internet scratching its heads. We figured it out once and for all.

Look, if you thought calculus wasn’t useful for anything outside of your high school AP exams, you clearly haven’t spent 24 hours figuring out whether the Rock falls to his death trying to leap from a mile-high crane into the tallest building in the world.

And so, here we are.

Skyscraper, the new Dwayne Johnson action movie opening July 13, has a plot so amazingly dumb only the Rock could make me type this sentence seriously: A former FBI agent—Johnson, of course, but inexplicably missing a leg—gets framed for a fire in a skyscraper with his family stuck inside. …

Competitive Grief Twitter is almost always exhausting, but today feels different: I don’t think I realized what a mensch this Tony guy really was

Damn it to hell, this one hit hard. The news of Anthony Bourdain’s passing — the second high-profile death by suicide this week—seemed to rally every Hadean circle of Twitter into a relentless but cathartic act of communal mourning on Friday.

Competitive Grief Twitter, our tone-deaf tendency to take a celebrity’s death and find a tangential way to Make It About Me, can get exhausting. (“RIP, Heath Ledger — I totally lost my virginity to 10 Things I Hate About You!”) But today felt different: It seemed like everyone, from celebrity to nobody, had a doozy of a Bourdain story…

Cooper Fleishman

Words for @WeAreMel. New York.

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