Real Life #RelationshipGoals from 1981
My dad met my mom in 1979, when she was barely a senior in high school and he had just graduated himself, and he said he instantly knew that she was the woman he was going to marry.
The story of how they met is pretty ironic. My dad had been working at the local hardware store in a program through my alma mater, Perry High School in Massillon, Ohio, where seniors could leave school early to go to work if they had jobs in the area. Because he was hired through that arrangement, he graduated on a Friday and when he went in to work that Saturday, he found out he was fired.
He started doing odd jobs here and there to pay the rent while he looked for other work, and one day when things were slow he got picked up while hitch hiking by a guy he’d had a few classes with. That man told him about a factory job that was hiring in town. That man was my mom’s boyfriend at the time.
My dad went in to the factory (which made screen doors, in case you were wondering), applied, and got hired right away. It just so happened that my aunt also worked there, and my mom had a habit of bringing her lunch to work that summer.
When my dad saw my mom in the parking lot one day, he said it was all over for him. He didn’t even know that she was his buddy’s girlfriend, but he said what he did know, right then and there, was that she was the one for him.
One thing led to another and they went on to marry in June 1981.
Before they took their vows, my dad wrote up what a “good marriage” looked like to him. His simple outlook still holds true today, so I thought I’d share with you the ingredients to his real-life #relationshipgoals, 36 years later:
Honesty — I feel that a husband and wife should not keep anything from one another. If there are no secrets then you don’t have to worry about them finding out something.
Loyalty — Is one of the most important things. It can cause marriage to end. And I feel that marriage is for life, not for a while.
Understanding — Is needed because you have to take the good with the bad and understand each other’s faults.
Friendship — You have to be friends with one another so you can trust each other and feel secure together.
Love — This is about the most important thing. You can love each other, but it’s the deep-down, special love that you’ve saved up all of your life for that one person that is the marrying kind of love.
After nearly four decades, four years in the Army, three children, soon-to-be four grand children, five houses in two states, and a myriad of other things, my parents are still going strong today.
They’ve made it on a combination of honestly, loyalty, understanding, friendship and love, with recognizing their own faults added to the mix.
With this recipe, we just might all make it 30+ years. That’s what I call #relationshipgoals.